
Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 5-30-18)
Greetings and welcome, turd herders. We’re mere hours away from Rockstar Pro Wrestling’s very first Tournament of Fight, and the tension hangs thick in the air. There was still one last Amped before the big show this week, so let’s cover all the action. Our opening contest pitted “Lost Girl” Samantha Heights against “Bare Knuckle Berserker” Lord Crewe and Crash Jaxon and Pompano Joe in a Fatal Four-Way contest. Crewe brought his usual hard-hitting offense, Crash relied on pur

Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped Supershow 5-23-18)
Greetings, mud smears! Another week another incredible Wednesday evening at Rockstar Pro Wrestling! This edition of Amped was no exception, as we put on a Supershow to rival any other wrestling company’s biggest show of the year. Yeah, Murray is still World Champion. That still sucks, but everything else was pretty great! The show began with a rematch between “The Human GIF Machine” Dave Crist and a seemingly recuperated Cole Radrick. These two had another incredibly intense

Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 5-16-18)
Welcome back, frumpy dumpers! It’s Bork with another recap of Rockstar Pro’s weekly Wednesday night wrestling extravaganza Amped. We’re gearing up for another amazing show, but before we get to that I have to cover what happened last time. It’s my burden, and I bear it with a quiet dignity and grace. Now let’s do it to it, shitlordes! Rockstar Pro day one original Nate Wings took on a man twice his size in “The Bare Knuckled Berserker” Lord Crewe in our opening contest. Crewe

Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 5-9-18)
Yeah, I know. It took me long enough. But can you really blame me for for wanting to keep Jon Murray out of my mind for as long as I can until I must? After a long, hard night’s work of enduring Mark’s idiocy, the last thing I want to think about until the following Wednesday is the Rockstar Pro World Champion. Anyway, enough of that. Last week’s Amped featured an eight man tournament to crown a new Trios Captain’s Champion! It’s really a bummer that Alex Colon is currently i

Voice of Professional Wrestling (Gem City Slam 5-4-18)
At the time of this writing, Jon Murray has been Rockstar Pro World Champion for three months and six days. That’s three months and six days of my own personal hell. Somehow it has felt like an eternity. But last Friday gave me hope. The Gem City Rumble offered up a new challenger, and now Murray’s days are truly numbered. We need to talk about the Gem City Slam. Our opening match was a singles bout between Rockstar Pro day one original Nate Wings and the Mexican luchador Aer

Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 5-2-18)
It’s almost time for the Gem City Slam and the Gem City Rumble, you bowls of poop soup! But before we get to that, we still have one episode of Amped to cover. Without any further ado, let’s get this over with! Announcer JP kicked things off in the worst way possible. He invited #NotMyWorldChampion Jon Murray to the ring. Murray said something dumb and fat before being interrupted by “Juggernaut” Jeremiah and Senior Official P.D. Barton. Barton was shooting off and acting har