Voice of Professional Wrestling (Lucha Comes to Dayton 9-15-17)
Hola, idiotas! Last night, Mas Lucha brought the Chilanga Mask luchadores to the Rockstar Pro Arena for a pro wrestling clash for the ages! It was one of the most exciting events this commentator has ever witnessed in person, and if you weren’t there you missed something truly special. Fortunately for you, my infinite kindness has led me to write this recap. De nada.
We kicked things off with a singles match between “Everyone’s Homie” Pompano Joe and Fly Star. Joe realized early in the match that his easy-going, dance-happy attitude wasn’t going to get him far with Fly Star and took a new approach. Both men focus their offense on their opponent’s left arm and shoulder for awhile until Fly Star busted out some high-flying athleticism. Joe fought hard, but in the end it was a Top Rope Hurricanrana Arm Drag that brought his night to an end. Fly Star stood tall with a victory in his Rockstar Pro debut!
Next up, my bro Clayton “Gainz” Jackson took on “The Voodoo King” Mojo McQueen in a massive clash between two hosses. I’ll say it. McQueen creeped me out. I’m sorry, but a competitor who enters the ring with a smoldering box of souls and a cursed mask has some serious issues. Nevertheless, Clay was undaunted. He and McQueen battled like a clash between titans. Although unsettling, Mojo certainly displayed some impressive in-ring skill. A 3CC Spear from my bro, however, brought this one to a definitive end. We’ll just ignore the fact that Jackson spit protein shake into McQueen’s face first. The ref didn’t see it, so it didn’t happen! Another big win for Jackson. He’s too swole to control!
Our third match pitted “Too Sick for this World” Zachary “Idiot Butt” Wentz against Guerrero Maya Jr. in further singles action. This match delivered everything a wrestling fan could hope for when watching a young sensation battle a high-flying luchador. Incredible speed, agility, athleticism and strength were all on display. Wentz nailed every move from the Gunckel Driver to the Baywood Bomb, but Guerrero Maya Jr persisted. Maya nearly flattened Zach’s skull with an incredible headfirst Driver to Maya’s Knee. The ref could’ve counted to infinity. Wentz was out cold. Ha ha! Even extraterrestrials wouldn’t have helped you in this one, Zach!
Triple Threat action followed when Nate Wings, “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed, and Draztik Boy squared off. These three competitors were eager to impress and threw everything they had into this match. It was top speed throughout the whole match. Myron, Nate and Draztik all fought with similar intensity and furor. Wings and Reed were truly prepared for lucha to come to Dayton! Draztik Boy, however, proved his in-ring prowess was unparalleled. Draztik Boy hit Wings with a move I honestly have never before seen to secure the 1-2-3 and the win. What an impressive showing for this young luchador!
The Rockstar Pro Tag Team Championships were on the line when Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz & Alex Colon) defended their titles against Solar Dynasty (Solar & Solar Jr.) We all know that Night Ryderz bring the violence, but I truly believe the father and son team of Solar Dynasty brought our champions something they’d never seen before. The Solars worked flawlessly together, displaying incredible technical wizardry as they tied Night Ryderz up like pretzels. Rarely do we see the Ryderz pushed to desperate measures, but there’s a first time for everything! Rayz hit one of his competitors with a low blow, while Colon distracted the ref. Unfortunately for the Solar Dynasty, Solar’s reciprocated low blow was seen by the official. The Solars were disqualified, and Night Ryderz retained the Rockstar Pro Tag Team Championships. Night Ryderz have one more title defense tonight at Championship Wrestling in Arizona before the Tag Team Championships are retired forever!
Our main event was for the Rockstar Pro World Championship as Aeroboy challenged Rockstar Pro World Champion “The Fresh Prince of Midair” Trey Miguel. I’m not going into details here because you don’t deserve it. You gotta subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com to experience this one in all its glory. I’ll just tell you one thing. In the end, Miguel retained his Championship gold with a stupendous Loaded Clip to Aeroboy’s dome. What an incredible ending to an amazing event!
Rockstarpronetwork.com is your source for the best indie wrestling on the continent! Hopefully, we’ll see more of the Chilanga Mask luchadores in the future! I’m still riding high from last night, and if you were there too you know the feeling. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.