Voice of Professional Wrestling (A Killer Christmas 12-1-17)
It’s that time of year when adults are extra stressed-out and angry, kids are terrified of a judgmental fat man, and wrestling at Rockstar Pro is just as excellent as ever! A Killer Christmas has come and gone, and I’m here to tell you all about it.
In the opening match the Rockstar Nation got to see trios action between former Trios Champions Night Ryderz (Aaron Williams, Alex Colon & Dustin Rayz) and Lethal Enforcers (Anthony Henry, James Drake & Alvarado). The Ryderz seemed exponentially aggressive, and for good reason. They lost their Trios Championships less than 48 hours before this match! Henry came out on the offense and exchanged strikes with Williams, while Drake showed impressive mobility for a big man. Alvarado was no slouch either and would not be intimidated by the former title-holders. The Ryderz, however, are dangerous regardless of what’s around their waists. It didn’t take long before Night Ryderz ended their losing streak with a Ride of Death on Alvarado.
Singles action followed between one half of the Trios Tag Team Champions The Foundation’s Pat the Bruiser and the man with a gut like a bowlful of jelly Jon Murray. These two giants slapped bellies against one another while brawling around the ring. It didn’t take long for each wrestler’s friends to get involved. The other half of the Trios Tag Team Champions Ben Boone and Murray’s friend for some reason Samantha Heights took to the ring, and the fight continued. Rockstar Pro principal owner CW Scott was more than happy to turn this one into a tag team match with the Trios Tag Team Championships on the line!
Trios Champions The Foundation’s Pat the Bruiser and “Big Bear” Ben Boone were forced to defend their titles against the pair of “Lost Girl” Samantha Heights and “Why do you continue to support this guy?” Jon Murray. The four competitors went at it hard and heavy with Rockstar Pro titles up for grabs. In the end, Boone simply picked up Heights and chucked her toward his tag partner. PTB blaster her with a spear, folding his opponent in half! One cover and three seconds later, The Foundation stood tall as Trios Tag Team Champions.
The tag team matches continued when Pompano Joe and Donovan Danhausen took on the returning Hooligans (Devin & Mason Cutter) in a highly anticipated contest. This one spilled outside of the ring early, as all four men did battle at ringside. The Cutter brothers excelled in brawling and gained an advantage in the opening stages of the match. Pompano and Danhausen fought back, but the Hooligans were already on a roll. They took out Pompano Joe with a Stone Cold Steiner to gain the victory. The Rockstar Nation showered the Cutters with praise.
The man who made the Rockstar Pro Championship into a World Championship “Too Many Nicknames to List Here” David Starr faced “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed in singles competition. This one was an early contender for match of the night. The first meeting between these two was a clash of epic proportions that you simply must check out on Rockstarpronetwork.com. Both competitors threw everything they had at one another with seemingly endless stamina in an effort that left the Rockstar Nation’s jaws agape. In the end, Reed hit an incredible Firefly to pin Starr’s shoulders to the mat for three seconds. What a match!
“Legendary” Larry D was ready to battle “Kinetic” Cole Radrick in a Last Man Standing match with control of Radrick’s contract on the line. Talk about brutality! This match embodied it. Most of it consisted of Larry D throwing Cole around and beating him to the groups. That pasty, little freak Cole stayed true to his word and got up every single time D took him down. Cole seemed a bit ambitious when he balanced a board between the apron and guardrail and set up four chairs on it. Larry continued to dominate, but Raddy just wouldn’t stay down! Eventually, Cole got the upper hand and gave Larry D a Bulldog through the chairs and board. Radrick barely got to his feet, while D could not stand before the ten count. Cole actually won and regained control of his Rockstar Pro contract. Incredible!
More trios competition followed between the Gym Nasty Boys (Timmy Lou Retton & White Mike) with Nate Wings and the truly impressive trio of Ace Austin, Clayton Jackson and Dave Crist! Things got nasty before the contest even began when White Mike offered Clayton Jackson an alternative to his usual pre-match beverage. Clay took in a mouthful of the murky, yellow liquid before spitting it into junior junior official Kent Slit’s face. Kent went crazy, delivered Stunners to all six competitors and ran away. The competitors went at it as another official hit the ring. This wild encounter was all over the place with bodies flying everywhere. When Kent finally returned he was greeted with six Superkicks to the face. In the end, Dave Crist nailed the Square & Compass to deliver his team the win.
Friends turned enemies “True Grit” Bruce Grey and “White Trash Messiah” Ron Mathis were set to beat the hell out of one another in a singles match. Mathis got under Bruce’s skin when he had the entire Nation chanting “Prove it!” at the leader of The Foundation. Bruce couldn’t take it and put his Rockstar Pro Trios Captain Championship on the line. This mach definitely lived up to the hype, as hatred manifested in the ring. History was made in this match. Unfortunately, it was when Ron Mathis became this first wrestler ever to kick out of a pinning predicament after receiving one of Bruce Grey’s DDTs! Mathis nailed Bruce with a Tombstone Piledriver to win the match and become the new Rockstar Pro Trios Captain Champion and therefore new leader of The Foundation. What the hell will this mean for our Trios Champions in the future?
Our main event saw Rockstar Pro World Champion “The Fresh Prince of Midair” Trey Miguel defend his title against “One Mean Hombre” Jake Crist. Both champion and challenger boasted memorable entrances before this one began. It was a worthy main event that featured numerous incredible moments that you had to see to believe! Probably should have been there in-person, huh? Redeem yourself with a subscription to Rockstarpronetwork.com. Anyway, our fantastic World Champion Trey Miguel put up one helluva fight. In the end, however, Jake Crist’s Dragon Sleeper proved inescapable. With a tap out from Trey, your new Rockstar Pro World Champion is “One Mean Hombre” Jake Crist! Before he could even celebrate his win, “Juggernaut” Jeremiah slid into the ring and brutally attacked Crist. Security had to drag him away as he screamed and frothed at the mouth like a madman!
We had an unbelievable night at A Killer Christmas! Two new champions were crowned, but one violent and determined man looms on the horizon. Be sure to catch all the fallout at our next Amped. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.