Voice of the Foundation
I'll just flat out say it. Horror-Core blew my god damn mind. I honestly didn't think we'd be able to top Purple Reign. I was so very wrong. If you're still looking for a reason to subscribe to the RockstarProNetwork, then you must be blind.
The night of horror, gore and more began with a match between two men who have been at one another's throats for weeks now. The American Luchacore Championship was on the line, as current champion and Bad Dude "Juggernaut" Jeremiah Withers went toe-to-toe with "The Baddest Man Alive" Aaron Williams in a DOG-COLLAR match. Chains just were not enough, and Aaron Williams even introduced flaming nunchaku to the fight! In the end, Jeremiah proved to be the baddest and successfully defended his title. Afterwards, Williams grabbed a mic and cut a bizarre, rambling promo. I think he's finally cracked under the intense pressure and competition at Rockstar Pro.
The second match in our annual "All Stipulations All The Time" show pitted Fight or Flight (Kyle Maverick and Nate Wings) against The Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz and Alex Colon) in a LIGHTS OUT match in which the audience provided the only illumination throughout the match via cell phones, lighters and more. The Rockstar Nation even busted out glow sticks. Idiots. This isn't a god damn Phish concert! It came as no surprise to me that those sons of bitches the Night Ryderz, who are always sneaking around in the dark, came out victorious.
Everyone was looking forward to discovering what costumes Samantha Heights and Nevaeh would wear in the HALLOWEEN COSTUME match. "Special" Guest Referee Jon Murray came out first with his filthy, sweaty "referee" towel. Then everyone was treated to the sight of "The Gem City Pirate Queen" Nevaeh and "Lost Girl" Samantha Heights. Peter Heights? Samantha Pan? The two had a very competitive match, despite the bumblings of Jon Murray, and Heights finally claimed her first victory against Nevaeh.
Our next event was a mosh pit scramble GUITAR match for the #1 contender position for the American Luchacore Championship. The competitors included Remi Wilkins, Nathan Cruz, Bruce Grey, Rickey Shane Page, and Trey Miguel. Feelings and faces were hurt, guitars were smashed, and the action got incredibly heated. The man who thinks he's Johnny Cash, "True Grit" Bruce Grey is now next in line to face Jeremiah Withers for his ALC gold.
Now we get to the match that I've been eagerly anticipating since the moment it was announced. My best friend and brother Zachary Wentz challenged Dezmond Xavier for his #1 contender position for the Rockstar Pro World Championship in a LADDER match. I can honestly say, without hyperbole, that this may have been the greatest contest I have ever seen at Rockstar Pro Arena. Xavier hit the ring with some serious fire, but my bestie proved to be just to much for the "Unleashed" one. I'm so proud of the MAN who is now #1 contender and destined to be your next Rockstar Pro World Champion. Be. Real.
In one of the most bizarre things I have ever seen in professional wrestling, The Hooligans faced "The Ultra-Violent Odd Couple" Sid & Ganger and Bad Dudes Pompano Joe and Kyle Kraven in a ZOMBIE LUMBERJACK match. Zombies surrounded the ring during the entirety of this super dangerous affair. No one was safe, and even referee Brian fell victim to the zombie horde. The Hooligans may have pulled out a win, but the real story is that Kraven seemed to be swarmed and devoured by the living dead!
Our penultimate challenge featured my family The Foundation (Jake Crist and Ron Mathis) defending their Rockstar Pro Tag Team Titles against the douchey duo of Bro Warriors Clayton Jackson and Darin Dinero in a WEIGHT-ROOM BRAWL. You'd think this would be advantageous for the Bros, and you would be dead wrong. Mathis knows his way around a dumbbell, and Crist is the most brilliant man on earth. Together they devised a way to best the Bros at their own game. The math is simple. Ten pound plate + a Bro's skull = The Foundation remain champions! Forever!
It's Horror-Core, so you know the main even was going to be crazy. Rockstar Pro World Champion Dave Crist defended his world title against former OI4K member and former friend Eric Ryan in a CASKET match. This one was crazy. Pinewood boxes, thousands upon thousands of tacks, barbed-wire filled caskets, and more! Here's the thing. Crist enclosed Ryan in a coffin to end the match, not one of the available caskets. There is a difference. Look it up! Is Dave Crist truly still Rockstar Pro Champion? I cry foul!
How many times do I have to remind you fools that if you're not watching Rockstar Pro, you're missing the best independent professional wrestling in the world? Come to the arena. Subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com.
Get sick, dude. Until next time, this is your Rockstar Pro color commentator and Voice of The Foundation signing off.