Oh, what an Amped! Unless you were at Rockstar Pro Arena on November 9th, 2016, you have absolutely no idea of the level of awesomeness involved. That’s why I’m here, dummies. I bring you truth.
The night started out in the worst way possible... with another installment of “Dear Sam... and Jon!” Their guests were Rockstar Pro World Champion “The Killer King” Dave Crist and OI4K’s “Iron Manager” JT Davidson. Dave and JT (Mostly JT.) blah blah blahed for what seemed like forever. Eventually a title opportunity was thrown out there, and both “True Grit” Bruce Grey and “Unleashed” Dezmond Xavier answered the call. The contest was set for later that night: a triple threat match for the Rockstar Pro World Championship between Dave Crist (c), Bruce Grey and Dezmond Xavier.
Our first match of the evening pitted one of the Bad Dudes “Pompano” Joe against Daniel Winchester. The 13 year veteran defeated the youngster in a short and sweet affair. “Pompano” hit the Homey Driver, and that was that. Don’t worry, Winchester. You’ll win a match one of these days. Just kidding. No, you won’t. Ha ha!
Next, we saw Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz and Alex Colon) face off against Fight or Flight (Kyle Maverick and Nate Wings) in a rematch from October’s Horror-Core iPPV. This time the lights stayed on. All of the expected hard-hitting and high-flying was put on display until wings secured a victory with a 450 Splash off the top turnbuckle. That’s a taste of vengeance for Maverick and Wings. Tastes good, doesn’t it?
Our American Luchacore Champion “Juggernaut” Jeremiah took on “One Sick Puppy” Sid Fabulous in non-title singles competition. I must say it, I was impressed. Sid put up a great fight. We all know he can take a beating like nobody else, but Sid was able to muster up some serious offense as well. Jeremiah made a statement at the end of the match, however. He hit Sid with Destruction Combo #4, Ultimate Destruction, and a Burning Hammer before taking the pinfall victory. The Baddest Dude indeed!
The fourth match of the night was definitely an intriguing one, as OI4K members “Trigger’ Trey Miguel and “The Baddest Man Alive” Aaron Williams went head-to-head. This was fallout from November Coming Fire, as Miguel attempted to intervene in Williams’ post-match beatdown of “All Ego” Ethan Page only to find himself on the receiving end of a brutal Williams beating. The so-called brotherhood in OI4K seems to be crumbling before our very eyes. Trey tried his best to use his speed, agility and high-flying offense against Aaron. But the “BMA” wouldn’t have it. The match ended in a Miguel DQ victory, as Williams locked on a submission and refused to let go when Trey got a foot to the bottom rope. There’s no way “Trigger” felt like a winner after that one.
The Rockstar Pro World Championship was on the line, as Dave Crist defended his title against Dezmond Xavier and Bruce Grey. Triple threats are always tricky when gold is on the line. Every competitor involved has to have eyes in back of his head. This was no exception, as the in-ring action was fast and nasty (Fasty?) throughout. After knocking Xavier out of the ring, Dave hit an innovative slam on Grey and retained his title after a three count. Once again, I must point out that Bruce Grey and Championships are like oil and water. They don’t mix.
Finally, we get to the best stuff: my family! The Rockstar Pro Tag Team Champions The Foundation (“His Royal Badness” Jake Crist and “White Trash Muscle” Ron Mathis with my best friend Zachary Wentz at ringside) defended our titles against Bro Warriors (Clayton “Pecs” Jackson and Darin “Sex” Dinero). My fam looked great as always, but there was something off with the Bros. Their timing, their communication, their flow. It was all wrong. Dinero even threw one of my boys right into his own tag team partner Clayton Jackson! And then it happened. The Lollipop of Destiny. Clayton Jackson was made an offer he couldn’t refuse. He made the best decision of his entire life and joined up with the biggest winners in Rockstar Pro. That’s right! “Pecs” is in The Foundation! After that, it was all academic. Darin Dinero learned once again that Torture Rack + Superkick = Foundation victory! Welcome, Clay. You’re home now.
Apparently, that didn’t sit well will OI4K, as they chose the highest moment of our victory to sneak attack us. Alright, OI4K. You want a fight? A fight you shall get! In a move that shocked everyone (except my family), the Number One Contender “The Sickest Dude in All the Land” Zachary Wentz challenged Dave Crist for the Rockstar Pro World Championship right then and there! A lightning quick match and two devastating Curb Stomps later, and ZACHARY WENTZ IS YOUR NEW ROCKSTAR PRO WORLD CHAMPION! Yes, you read that correctly. I’m going to type it again just so it sinks into your thick skulls. Zachary Wentz is World Champion at Rockstar Pro. God damn, that feels good! Wentz is World Champion. Wentz is World Champion! ZACHARY WENTZ IS ROCKSTAR PRO WORLD FUCKING CHAMPION!
Want to relive the greatest night in Rockstar Pro history? Want all the chills, thrills and spills of Rockstar Pro in your very own home? Just go to Rockstarpronetwork.com and sign up for a free two-week trial. I guaran-damn-tee you idiots won’t be disappointed with the best wrestling action available today. Until next time, this is Rockstar Pro color commentator, Voice of The Foundation, and best friend of the Rockstar Pro WORLD CHAMPION signing off. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick duuuuuuuuuuuuude!