Voice of The Revolution (Amped 4-12-17)
Greetings, fustylugs and wandoughts! Spring Break is over, but we’re still made in the shade at Rockstar Pro! With over a month to go until the Gem City Rumble at the Gem City Slam, literally anything could happen. Amped is your place to go for the best independent pro wrestling in the world.
The night began with a familiar face returning to the ring. Kyle Maverick joined his Fight or Flight partner Nate Wings to give the Rockstar Nation an update on his condition. It seemed he was ready to return to action, and The Foundation was happy to oblige! Ron Mathis, Bruce Grey and Sid Fabulous jumped in the ring and got in a few shots on Maverick and Wings before our opening contest was declared. It was The Foundation’s Bruce Grey and Ron Mathis versus Fight or Flight. Maverick didn’t have time to shake off the ring rust before Mathis blasted him with a Lariat on the outside. Wings was distracted by Fabulous, giving The Foundation the opportunity they desired. One DDT from Grey to Maverick earned The Foundation another win. After the match, a penitent Wings approached Maverick for forgiveness. However, Kyle would not accept the apology. Looks like there’s trouble in paradise for Fight or Flight.
Our next contest was a singles match between Kit Osbourne and Pompano Joe. It was interesting to watch these two battle wits as much as they battled physically, given that each of them have over a decade of in-ring experience. As we all know, that all becomes academic once a Bad Dude gets rolling. Pompano punished Kit with a perfect Homey Driver to secure a win. With another win for Pompano and Jeremiah as Rockstar Pro World Champion, Bad Dudes are riding high!
Thirdly, The Foundation’s “Street Rat” Sid Fabulous took on Daniel “The Dream” Winchester in a one-on-one contest. The Dream? Really? Really!? I guess Winchester’s dream is to get his first win. Spoiler alert: not this time! No matter how hard the Rockstar Nation cheered for him, no matter how much they wanted it, no matter how hard he tried, Winchester wouldn’t overcome the odds at this Amped. Just when it looked like Daniel might pull it off, a booming voice exclaimed “THE FOUNDATION!” on the mic. This distracted Winchester just long enough for Sid to take control. He hit the winless wonder with a Demogorgon Drop for the victory. Not this time, Winchester. Not ever!
Match four was a non-title contest between Rockstar Pro Tag Team Champions Ugly Ducklings (Lance Lude & Rob Killjoy) and Gymnasties (Timmy Lou Retton & White Mike). We’d seen both members of Gymnasties before, but this was easily their biggest opportunity so far at Rockstar Pro. They looked great too. Retton is incredibly agile, even with his injured hand. White Mike is way more dangerous than he looks, and his Can Opener is absolutely devastating. Nevertheless, Ugly Ducklings are formidable champions. Killjoy launched Lude into a vulnerable White Mike in a maneuver they call Launchpad McQuack to get the tag champs yet another win. Damn those Ducks!
Ah, finally! My family was back in the ring! The Revolution (My best bud “The Kardiac Kid” Dezmond Xavier & my best mate “The Sickest Dude in the UK” Craig West) joined forces with “Scumbag for Hire” Tim Donst* to take on Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz, Alex Colon & Aaron Williams). My family and our hired mercenary fought like hell, but all three members of Night Ryderz are human weapons. They took out Craig. They took out Donst. Then, they focused their energies on Dezmond Xavier. They triple-teamed him with running kicks before Alex screeched out for the Ride of Death. That was it for Dez and the match as well. Night Ryderz won again. I know that if Wentz were in there instead of Donst The Revolution would have come out victorious. I know it!
The American Luchacore Champion was in non-title action as well, as “Trigger” Trey Miguel took on youngster “The Infinite” Cole Radrick. These two were flinging barbs at one another via social media well before Amped began. Radrick came out swinging, fighting like it was the biggest match of his life. And it was. Trey wasn’t about to let another young Rockstar Pro wrestler steal his thunder. Radrick has potential, but he’s all unbridled, unfocused energy. Trey, on the other hand, has learned how to focus his rage. Cole tried and failed, and Miguel hit the Loaded Clip to shatter young Radrick’s dreams. Trey thinks he’s so big. One day soon he’ll get his.
Next, The Mega Plowers (Jock Samson & Magnum CK) hit the ring and challenged the returning Mikael to a fight. Mikael, who came back to Rockstar out of the blue for no discernible reason, jumped right in the ring to fight. The Mega Plowers were just starting to stomp a mud hole in him when Ganger came to Mikael’s aid. The unlikely duo of Ganger and Mikael gained the advantage. It seemed Jock would be clobbered by Ganger, but CK made the save with a stinging chair shot to “The Pitbull” Ganger’s back. The official had no choice but to end the match in a DQ, but The Mega Plowers didn’t care. Just as I was beginning to enjoy watching the Plowers stomp the life out of Mikael, Ugly Ducklings came out of nowhere to save his worthless life. You can tell the Ducks are still fairly new to Rockstar if they’re siding with a bozo like Mikael!
Our main event of the evening saw a young hotshot face off against wrestling’s true visionary. “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed had the chance of a lifetime as he took on “The Artist” Jake Crist. This was one of those matches that you had to see to believe. Luckily, you morons who missed it can catch all the high-flying, hard-hitting action at Rockstarpronetwork.com. Reed brought all of his explosive, high-risk offense to this match, but sometimes smarts and creativity overcome youth and athleticism. Crist won yet again with that damned Backslide he calls a Work of Art. “The Artist” didn’t have much time to celebrate before Rockstar Pro World Champion Jeremiah knocked him senseless. Jeremiah and his special lady “Lost Girl” Samantha Heights were all over one another, as our World Champion declared that where he comes from there are only Bad Dudes!
What a night! If you missed it, you’re dumb. But at least you read this far without giving up. A for effort, dinguses! Be sure to be at Rockstar Pro Arena every Wednesday for Amped and check us out at Rockstarpronetwork.com and Fite.tv. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and Voice of The Revolution.
*My best friend “The Sickest Dude in ALL the Land” Zachary Wentz wanted desperately to fight alongside his brothers, but he was not medically cleared to do so after sustaining injuries in his brutal Boards Match with Sami Callihan at Spring Break.