Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 6-7-17)
Hot off the Tournament of Flight, Rockstar Pro is looking forward toward July’s iPPV Judgement Babe. Read carefully, dingus patrol. There’s a lot going down.
The night began with the fattest asshole in all the land Jon Murray going one-on-one with “Street Rat” Sid Fabulous. What’s the deal with Murray thinking he’s just as skilled as much more famous wrestlers? He’s not RVD. He’s not Mysterio or Reigns. He’s certainly no Orton. Nevertheless, the plus-sized cuck somehow defeated Sid with an RKO as Sid flew toward Murray from the top of the turnbuckle. Murray couldn’t celebrate for long, as Sid’s Foundation buddy Ron Mathis hit the ring. Just like last week, “White Trash Muscle” focused his aggressions on Murray’s problematic knees. He even encouraged a hesitant Prospect to do some damage. Mathis will no longer put up with Jon Murray’s bullshit, and I love it!
Next up, we saw the American Luchacore Champion “The Dream” Daniel Winchester in non-title action against Pompano Joe. Joe had been getting one over on Winchester in match after match for months, but that was before Daniel built up this newfound confidence. Try as he might, Pompano just couldn’t keep the champ down. Winchester popped Joe in the face with not one, but two Swedish Accents to defeat the Bad Dude and lengthen his winning streak.
Match three pitted “Hot Fire” Myron Reed against Nate Wings. Both of these competitors put up great fights in the Tournament of Flight, but they ultimately came up short. It was a chance at redemption for only one of these two men. It was a fast-paced affair, as both competitors relied on their quickness and agility to work for an advantage. In the end, Reed hit Wings with a mean Firefly to pin him 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring. Reed had better focus. He’ll face a massive challenge next month in Michael Elgin.
Our fourth contest featured Aaron Williams of Night Ryderz facing off against John Wayne Murdoch. Murdoch is a relative newcomer to Rockstar Pro, but the scars that cover his body serve as a constant reminder of his years of experience. He and Williams had a vicious confrontation with plenty of hard-hitting strikes and powerful attacks. After Williams perched JWM on the top turnbuckle, he went in for the kill. Unfortunately for Aaron, John Wayne Murdoch took the advantage and obliterated Williams with a Destroyer from the top rope to win the match. Murdoch has definitely come to Rockstar Pro to make an impact!
A contest to determine the #1 Contenders to the Rockstar Pro Tag Team Champions followed. It was Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz & Alex Colon) versus the pair of “Swole” Radrick & Darin “Sex” Dinero versus The Hooligans (Devin & Mason Cutter)! This one was as hard-hitting as it gets. It went back-and-forth, at times seeming it was truly anyone’s game. Even the unlikely yet undefeated pair of Radrick & Dinero had their opportunities. The Hooligans eventually focused their aggressions on Radrick. Can you blame them? They rocked him with a Stunner/Flying Bulldog combo to secure the victory and become the #1 Contenders in the tag team division! Ugly Ducklings better stop ducking around because the Hooligans are coming for their gold.
Next, we witnessed “The Pitbull” Ganger face Kyle Maverick in singles action. Maverick is a former pro boxer, and Ganger really loves to punch people as hard as he can. That made for one meaty matchup. Little grappling. No dives. This one was a slugfest. In a somewhat surprising outcome, Maverick downed Ganger with three successive Yahtzees in a row! It was a brief and brutal conflict that gave Maverick a much-needed win.
I wasn’t looking forward to this one, but it must be addressed. I’m a professional, so I’ll do my job in a fair, unbiased manner. The traitor Zachary Wentz faced “The Supplement Savage” Clayton Jackson in their first meeting since Wentz stabbed Jackson in the back last week. This wasn’t a wrestling match. It immediately became a fight. Wentz pushed Jackson so far, Clay had no choice but to go for the low blow. Wentz won via disqualification, but Clayton wasn’t finished. He pulled a board out from underneath the ring and set it up in the corner. Just as he was about to slam Wentz through it, security rushed the ring to save Zach. What the fuck! They should never have gotten involved! An unnamed member of the security staff paid the price, as Jackson blasted him through the board. This is far from over, Zach. Mark my words.
Our main event was a three-on-three tag contest featuring the trio of Wendy & Lisa (“The Artist” Jake Crist & “Trigger” Trey Miguel) and Rockstar Pro World Champion “Gem City Queen” Nevaeh Crist going up against “Juggernaut” Jeremiah, “The Lost Girl” Samantha Heights, and a partner of their picking... “White Trash Muscle” Ron Mathis! This was an insane match right from the beginning. The vitriol between the two teams was palpable. Exploding out of the gate, everyone was on the offensive. Even junior official Brian “Velvet Smooth” Barton got into the action, nearly killing himself with a Hurricanrana to Jake on the apron. Jeremiah, Sam and Ron got the upper hand with some clever strategizing. They handcuffed both Nevaeh and Trey to the ring ropes, leaving Jake entirely on his own. At least, that’s what we thought. “Enter Sandman” began blasting over the speakers, and that fat asshat Jon Murray came to ringside looking exactly like ECW original Sandman. He went directly after Mathis, removing him from the match. Fortunately, Jeremiah pressed the advantage. He punished Jake with three incredible Popup Powerbombs before pinning “The Artist” to the mat for the win. What a main event!
Things are getting very, very interesting as we approach Judgement Babe on July 7th. Confirmed matches already include “Hot Fire” Myron Reed versus “Big Mike” Michael Elgin, Jon Murray versus Japan’s Kikutaro, and “Gem City Queen” Nevaeh versus “Juggernaut” Jeremiah with the Rockstar Pro World Championship on the line! Be sure to catch all the action by subscribing to Rockstarpronetwork.com, downloading the FITE TV app, and seeing us live at 1106 E. 3rd St. in Dayton. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.