Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 6-28-17)

Greetings, smell-feasts! It was another great Wednesday night at Rockstar Pro Arena as we presented yet another excellent episode of Amped. Judgement Babe is just over a week away, and tensions in the locker room are rising. Let’s do it to it and get right to the action.

The night began with a singles match between Nate Wings and “Kinetic” Cole Radrick. It was a frenetic, almost frantic contest between two athletes who only know how to compete at top speed. Radrick held his own against the Rockstar Pro day one original, cracking Wings with a particularly mean headbutt. Despite Cole’s penchant for throwing caution to the wind and putting his own wellbeing on the line, Nate held his own. Wings took the advantage and hit Radrick with a 450 Splash to bring this one to an end.

Darin Dinero, Mikael, Ganger, and Pompano Joe were up next in a four-way contest. Mikael and Ganger shook hands and showed respect to one another to begin, but seconds later Mikael and Dinero would work together to beat down Ganger. Mikael even introduced a steel chair into the match, walloping his competition with the weapon. It was the crafty veteran Pompano Joe who would truly take advantage. He bided his time until taking Mikael down with a Homey Driver. Another win for Pompano and for all Bad Dudes kind!

Thirdly, we had a handicap match. “Legendary” Larry D made his return to Rockstar Pro taking on both Big Fish Rembowski and Kelly. Larry D proved that he is an unstoppable force when he flattened both men in record time. Rembowski and Kelly attempted to overpower and overwhelm Larry D, but their combined offense still wasn’t enough. Larry D Double Speared both men, pinning both of them for the three count. He then grabbed a mic and put the entire Rockstar Pro locker room on notice. He’s here to destroy his competition. I’m certainly staying out of that big fellow’s way.

Tag team action was up next when Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz & Alex Colon) took on The Foundation (“White Trash Messiah” Ron Mathis & “Street Rat” Sid Fabulous). Of course Bruce Grey was there to support his brothers in The Foundation. Prospect was there too. This match seemed to refuel the hatred between these two groups, as they went after one another with renewed aggression. The momentum swung back and forth until Rayz drilled Mathis with The Catalyst. My monitor went out so I missed exactly how it happened, but in the end Ron Mathis pinned Rayz for the win! The Foundation are looking great!

The American Luchacore Championship was on the line as my bro Clayton “Gainz” Jackson defended his title against “The Dream” Daniel Winchester. Winchester seemed particularly pissed off and eager to reclaim the title belt. Clayton, however, would not let that happen as he gave Winchester the match of his life. In the end, Clay demolished Daniel with the Spear he likes to call 3CC to win the match and retain his American Luchacore Championship! That title will be on the line when Jackson meets the traitorous Zachary Wentz in a Boards Match at Judgement Babe!

Pro wrestling can instantly take one from dizzying highs to soul-crushing lows. There’s no better example of this phenomenon than Jon Murray getting in the ring directly after a Clayton Jackson match. The Type 2 Titty Boy himself took on Aaron Williams in a one-on-one confrontation. Williams must’ve still been jarred by his loss to Nevaeh last week because Jon Murray got the better of him. That fat turd Murray even dragged Nakamura’s good name though the mud throughout the match. Somehow, Murray lucked into hitting what he calls Papa’s Delicate Condition on Williams to win the match. He’ll fight Kikutaro at Judgement Babe in a dream match he’s wanted his entire career. Surprise surprise. Jon Murray gets special treatment. Let’s just move on before I choke to death on my own rage here.

Our penultimate contest of the night pitted Wendy & Lisa (Jake Crist & Trey Miguel) against The Dirty (Brandon Edwards & Austin Manix). What the hell is up with Crist and Miguel? They won’t take any interview requests. They think they’re a pair of women musicians. They won’t even answer to their actual names! Am I the only one around here who’s noticed this madness!? Anyway, The Dirty did their best with both Edwards and Manix getting in a decent amount of offense. Unfortunately, they were no match for Wendy & Lisa’s chemistry and artistry. Crist held Manix in position for Trey to hit a nasty Killing Spree and come out victorious.

The main event saw former Rockstar Pro World Champion “Juggernaut” Jeremiah with Samantha Heights by his side take on “Hot Fire” Myron Reed. They were having an excellent, competitive contest until the Rockstar Pro World Champion Nevaeh decided to interfere. She distracted Jeremiah long enough for Reed to hit him with a Louisville Slugger (Not the bat. Reed’s flying uppercut.) and win the match. Reed didn’t celebrate for long before Nevaeh went after Jeremiah and Samantha yet again. The Foundation hit the ring to pull the World Champion off of Jeremiah. Then, that lump Murray came after Mathis. Wendy & Lisa joined the melee shortly thereafter. In a totally unpredictable move, Dave Crist actually left commentary to join in on the fight! He took on all members of The Foundation plus Bad Dudes. Even Pompano Joe and Clayton Jackson couldn’t quell his fury. In the end, CW grabbed a mic and made a main event for next week’s Amped. It’ll be a five-on-five match and pure insanity as Dave Crist makes his official return to the Rockstar Pro ring!

What a crazy night! And it’s only going to get crazier as we draw closer to Judgement Babe. Catch all the action live and in-person at Rockstar Pro Arena! Failing that, catch us on the FITE TV app, Nu-TV, and subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.

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