Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 7-26-17)
Greetings, burp smells! Vacation’s over, and I’m back at the commentation station at Rockstar Pro! We’re already into the second week of our Rockin’ Robin Tournament to crown a #1 Contender to the Rockstar Pro World Champion. Read on to catch up on all the tournament action and more.
Our opening contest was a tournament match between “Everyone’s Homie” Pompano Joe and “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed. This was a classic battle between youth and experience, agility and cunning. Pompano began with a solid strategy by continuously targeting Reed’s left arm, but Myron is the type of competitor who just won’t quit. In the end, Myron took Joe down with a Firefly for the three count. That’s two tournament wins for Myron while Joe remains winless. It seems as if Pompano’s chance to get revenge on Jeremiah at Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em is slipping through his fingers.
Next up, we had another tournament contest featuring “The Lost Girl” Samantha Heights and Nate Wings. Both were hungry for a victory after failing to attain one in the first week of tournament matches. This was a hotly contested match, as both athletes share similar sizes and experiences. It was a back-and-forth affair until Heights hit the Facewash/Blockbuster combo she calls Bangarang to score her first tournament win. Heights advances to 1-1, but Wings has yet to gain a victory.
In non-tournament action the Rockstar Pro World Champion “Juggernaut” Jeremiah faced Rockstar Pro first-timer Sless Taylor. While this was Sless’ first appearance at Rockstar, he’s no newbie. Taylor has a great look and an impressive set of offensive tricks. It was, however, the two-time champ who would shine. Jeremiah laid in a series of brutal kicks and a Pop-up Powerbomb before defeating Taylor with Ultimate Destruction. “Juggernaut” then grabbed the mic to make his intentions clear. He asserted that he is not frightened of anyone in the professional wrestling industry and claimed to be, “wrestling’s best kept secret.” The “Lone Dude” Jeremiah plans to hold onto his World Championship well beyond the end of the Rockin’ Robin Tournament.
The next match pitted “Pitbull” Ganger against “The Legendary” Larry D. D recently put the entire Rockstar Pro locker room on notice, and Ganger would be no exception. We all know that Ganger is much more of a fighter than a nuanced technician, so this matchup made for one hell of a slobberknocker! Even though Ganger managed to Suplex the massive Larry D, it was the invader who would get the last laugh. Larry D positioned Ganger on the top turnbuckle before carrying him into a monstrous Backbreaker! “The Legendary” Larry D’s campaign of terror continues.
Rockstar Pro Tag Team Champions Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz & Alex Colon) were in non-title action as they took on the first-time pairing of “The Dream” Daniel Winchester and “Kinetic” Cole Radrick. Radrick displayed his usual annoying energy, while Winchester appeared as if he would rather be anywhere else with anyone else. Radrick bounced back from beating after beating, but it was Winchester would ended up taking the Ride of Death. Chalk up another win for Night Ryderz! Perhaps Winchester and Radrick need a fitting team name to get on the same page. They could be The Nightmares. No! I got it! Winchester and Radrick are Nocturnal Emission!
Another Rockin’ Robin matchup followed with my bro Clayton “Gainz” Jackson facing “The Baddest Man Alive” Aaron Williams. This one was vicious before the bell even rang as these two competitors fought outside the ring. Jackson effectively used his power advantage, but Williams continued to dominate in the realm of strikes. In the end, Williams hit his classic Cradle Piledriver to earn the 1-2-3 in an incredibly tough contest. Aaron moves to 2-0 in the tournament while my bro Clay drops to 1-1.
Our main event of the evening saw tournament action between “Trigger” Trey Miguel* and “White Trash Messiah” Ron Mathis. Mathis dominated the early stages of this contest, even without a lick of help from the rest of The Foundation. Familiar music filled the arena as Jon Murray walked out on the entryway dressed like some sort of obese lion person. That fat distraction was all Miguel needed to hit a Loaded Clip on Mathis and win the match. Trey moves to 2-0, Mathis falls to 0-2, and Murray is still a fat asshole.
We’re only two weeks into this tournament, and some fascinating narratives are already evolving. Keep abreast with all your favorite Rockstar Pro athletes by watching Amped on FITE.TV, NU-TV on Roku, and by subscribing to Rockstarpronetwork.com. Don’t miss our joint venture with Wrestling Revolver on Friday, August 4th. It’s The F’n Catalina Wrestling Mixer, and it’s going to be insane! That’s it, dummies! Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.
* I refuse to exclusively call him Lisa Coleman!