Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 8-23-17)
Welcome back, juice looseners! We’re in the penultimate week of the Rockin’ Robin Tournament to determine a new #1 Contender for the Rockstar Pro World Championship, and things are getting wilder and wilder! Only Myron Reed and Trey Miguel remain undefeated in tournament action. Read on to find out what happened this week.
Our opening match saw “Kinetic” Cole Radrick go toe-to-toe with Nate Wings. This was just as fast and furious a matchup as expected, with both competitors going full-speed from the moment the bell rang through the match’s end. Despite numerous kicks to the head, Radrick simply wouldn’t stay down. It took a Springboard Hurricanrana transitioned immediately into a pin to bring Wings the victory. He may be out of the Rockin’ Robin Tournament, but a win’s a win!
Tag team action followed between The Foundation (“True Grit” Bruce Grey & “Street Rat” Sid Fabulous) and the returning Donovan Danhausen with new partner Pav City. Danhausen actually got a win when teaming with Winchester last week, but would he be so lucky this time around? He and Pav City put up a good fight, putting a lot of offensive pressure on Sid Fabulous. However, few are tougher than Sid. He stayed in the match long enough to give Grey the opportunity to hit Pav City with a single DDT. The DDT drops ‘em all! The Foundation earned a well-deserved mark in the win column with that one.
Blarg. I regret to inform you that “Everyone’s Homie” Pompano Joe had a singles match with “Professional Athlete” Jon Murray next. That idiot Murray forgot to declare “Jon Murray Pro Rules,” but that didn’t stop the insanity. He drank a beer. He had a dance-off with Pompano. A thumb went in a bum. Basically, it was everything I hate rolled up into a single wrestling match. Unfortunately, Murray splattered Pompano with Papa’s Delicate Condition to get the win. Fortunately, Mathis and the rest of The Foundation showed up to kick Murray’s ass. There’s your silver lining for this match.
“The Legendary” Larry D took to the ring to face Rockstar Pro newcomer Will Burden. This match was a slaughter. In less than four minutes, Larry D picked Burden apart before finishing him off with an Over-the-Shoulder Backbreaker. While all this was happening, Ganger was watching (and taunting) from the crowd. “The Pitbull” stared Larry D down as he celebrated his victory.
Rockin’ Robin Tournament action followed with “The Baddest Man Alive” Aaron Williams taking on “Trigger’ Trey Miguel (AKA “The Righteous One” Lisa Coleman). Miguel’s undefeated streak was on the line, while Williams worked just to stay in this tournament. Williams shined with incredible strikes, taking aim at Trey/Lisa’s legs to slow down the quick youngster. Quicker than a nun’s first curry, Miguel applied the Work of Art Backslide for the 1-2-3 and the win. Miguel/Coleman stayed perfect at 6-0, while Williams dropped to an even 3-3. All the pressure dropped right on the head of Myron Reed.
Our second Rockin’ Robin Tournament contest of the evening pitted my bro Clayton “Gainz” Jackson against “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed. Clay’s full power was on display when he caught Myron during multiple dive attempts. Unfortunately, Reed pinned Jackson with a Schoolboy after a questionable call from one of our junior junior officials. I swear they have some sort of grudge against my bro! That result took Jackson out of contention and brought Reed to a 6-0 tie with Miguel. Afterward, that jerk Zachary Wentz hit the ring with a mic and challenged Jackson to an Out of This World Match at September’s Smoke ‘Em if Ya Got ‘Em. I’m not sure what that’s going to be, but with Jackson involved I know it’ll rule.
The Rockstar Pro Tag Team Champions Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz & Alex Colon) faced The Dirty (Austin Manix & Brandon Edwards) in a non-title contest that was also a preview of the title match coming up at Smoke ‘Em if Ya Got ‘Em. Big, mean dudes throwing haymakers abounded in this matchup. The Ryderz seemed to single out Edwards, keeping him confined to their corner. Once Edwards was able to make a tag, the tables turned. The Dirty took control late in the match and even seemed to win when they hit the Swan Song! Unfortunately for them, the referee determined that the time limit had expired before the three-count was complete. It was a controversial ending that will do nothing to ease tensions between these two tag team powerhouses!
Our main event was requested by Mikael after Rockstar Pro World Champion “Juggernaut” Jeremiah beat him senseless with chairs and boards two weeks ago. This time they had a no count out, no disqualification, falls count anywhere Chairs Match! If you want to experience this carnage, you must subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com. It was insane! After beating Mikael from pillar to post, Jeremiah constructed a tower of chairs. The two climbed atop the turnbuckle. Jeremiah Powerbombed Mikael into the chair tower before Cannonballing onto him to finish the job and win the match. Craziness!
Smoke ‘Em if Ya Got ‘Em is just over a week away, and things are really heating up at Rockstar Pro! Watch us on Nu-TV, FITE.TV, and by subscribing to Rockstarpronetwork.com. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.