Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 9-27-17)
Welcome back, petulant pustules! This week’s Amped flaunted some true international flair, as we welcomed two amazing athletes from Japan to the Rockstar Pro Arena. Read all about it below.
We kicked things off with tag team action between the pair of “The Human GIF Machine” Dave Crist & “Kinetic” Cole Radrick and the team of Pav City & Will “The Thrill” Burden. Pav and Will have been trying to make names for themselves at Rockstar Pro over the last few weeks with little in-ring success. Dave and Cole were intent on continuing their opponents’ losing streak. The newcomers had opportunities to learn a lot in this match. In particular, Will learned not to get in a kicking contest with Dave Crist. Pure brutality! A modified Killing Spree on Burden brought this one to a swift end with Crist and Radrick standing tall over the bruised and beaten Will and Pav.
Next up, Nate Wings took on Ace Austin... Shakespeare in singles competition. This was a fast-paced affair between two amazing athletes. The young Ace Austin gave Wings a run for his money, showing the Day One Rockstar Wings that he could keep up with him move-for-move. Again, Wings called out Larry D during this contest. He’s either incredibly brave or unbelievable stupid! In the end, Nate hit an impressive Springboard Dragonrana to gain the victory. Nate didn’t get long to celebrate before Larry D attacked both Wings and Austin from behind. Tossing Ace aside, Larry D focused his aggression on Nate by repeatedly slamming him into the canvas. As Ace helped Nate to the locker room, Larry D demanded an opponent.
That led us to our next match as former Rockstar Pro Tag Team Champion Rob Killjoy hit the ring to challenge “The Legendary” Larry D. Killjoy started off hot, getting in multiple Bicycle Kicks on D. But Larry D has set a monumental precedent. He has dominated every single one of his opponents, even Ganger in a Dayton Street Fight! Although Rob put up a laudable fight, Larry D splattered Killjoy on the canvas with a Sit-out Powerbomb. I guarantee this was not the “welcome back” that Killjoy expect!
The Foundation (“True Grit” Bruce Grey, “Street Rat” Sid Fabulous & Pat the Bruiser) squared off against the trio of Pompano Joe, Donovan Danhausen & *sigh* Jon Murray. The match began with both Grey and Murray attempting to pull off their finishers on one another, as the entirety of both teams poured into the ring for a massive brawl. The referee eventually gained control, and these two teams threw everything in their arsenals at each other. Pat the Bruiser was particularly impressive when he went belly-to-belly with Murray. In a preview of what to expect at HorrorCore, Bruce rocked Murray with a single DDT to pin that colossal dullard for a big Foundation win!
My bro Clayton “Gainz” Jackson took on “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed in a fantastic clash between two young stallions! Clay gained an early advantage by grinding Myron down and keeping him on the mat, but Reed proved to be remarkably resilient. Myron slowly recovered and picked up the pace late in the match. Unfortunately, “Hot Fiya” hit a picture perfect 450 Splash on Jackson to earn the victory. I’ll hand it to Reed this one time, it was an impressive victory for the man who will challenge for the Rockstar Pro World Championship in a 2-out-of-3 Falls Match at HorrorCore.
Intense tag team action followed between Night Ryderz (“The Baddest Man Alive” Aaron Williams & Alex Colon), the pair of “Too Sick for Whatever” Zachary Wentz & his bell end buddy from the UK Craig West, and the returning Gym Nasty Boys (“Dirty” White Mike & Timmy Lou Retton). Thankfully, the only whipped cream employed in the match was squirted into fans’ mouths during the Gym Nasties’ entrance. This high-flying, hard-hitting match was demonstrative of the unique action that only Rockstar Pro delivers. My favorite part was when my bro Clayton Jackson walked out to the ringside area to screw with Wentz’s head. That dolt Zach took the bait and gave our Chief of Security Eddie Chek the perfect opportunity to roll him up and become new Rockstar Pro Fanny Pack Champion. Ha ha! Eat it, Zach! With Zach distracted, Night Ryderz hit a Ride of Death on Craig to secure another win. The most violent group in Rockstar will be right at home in a Lights Out Match at HorrorCore.
“Lost Girl” Samantha Heights took on Japan’s Akane Fujita in her Rockstar Pro debut. I immediately took a liking to Fujita because of her rockin’ entrance theme. Fujita took it directly to Heights, demanding an exchange of stiff chops to the chest. Heights proved she was up to the challenge and stepped up her own offense. It seemed the “Lost Girl” was determined to solidify that no invader could come into her home turf and take her out. Heights took Fujita to the corner and put boots to face with a Facewash to set up a dynamic Bangarang. Once Heights hit that it was all over. Samantha Heights once again defended her turf like some switchblade-wielding, leather-jacketed greaser from a bygone era.
Our main event could have headlined any pay-per-view in the US or Japan! It was Rockstar Pro World Champion “The Fresh Prince of Midair” Trey Miguel defending his title against “Space Beast” Shigehiro Irie. Irie came to Dayton by way of Osaka, while Miguel returned from a two week tour of Mexico mere hours before their match. It was Trey’s speed up against Shigehiro’s raw power in a truly captivating clash of styles. Irie’s offense impressed as always with punishing headbutts and amazing pounces. Trey, however, has proven himself to be an indomitable champion. Miguel hit the Loaded Clip, and we all know what that means. Three seconds later Trey Miguel stood tall as Rockstar Pro World Champion. He’ll face another massive test at HorrorCore in a Two-out-of-Three Falls Match against Myron Reed.
That’s it for now, dingus patrol! Check us out on Nu-TV, FITE.TV and by subscribing to Rockstarpronetwork.com. Remember that HorrorCore is just around the corner, and every match features a different stipulation! Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.