Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 10-4-17)
What’s up, C.H.U.D. nuts? Just kidding! I don’t care. What I care about is pro wrestling and the high-flying, hard-hitting action at Rockstar Pro! Horror-Core looms ominously in the near future, but we had to get through one last episode of Amped before the blood orgy iPPV. Read on for all the gory details.
The action began before the first bell even rang! As JP was announcing match one, Samantha Heights crept up on on Chief of Security Eddie Chek and pinned him in a matter of seconds to take his Rockstar Pro Fanny Pack Championship. That meant that our opening contest was for the Rockstar Pro Fanny Pack Championship! It was “Lost Girl” Samantha Heights defending against relative newcomer Pav City. Pav looked to be in great shape, but Samantha clearly came to the arena spoiling for a fight. In the end, Heights hit her famous F Your Face/Bangarang combo to take down Pav City and retain her Fanny Pack Championship*.
Match two boasted Triple Threat action when “Kinetic” Cole Radrick took on both Dustin Rayz and the debuting “Hitman for Hire” Mr. Grimm. A spastic Cole was immediately dumped out of the ring, as his intimidating opponents focused their aggressions on one another. Cole fought his way back into the match with that annoying tenacity, but both Grimm and Rayz had an answer to everything he threw at them. In an amazing display of strength, Rayz lifted up Mr. Grimm for a punishing Catalyst Driver to secure the win.
Next up, the man who will challenge for the Rockstar Pro World Championship at Horror-Core was in action. “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed faced Ace Austin... Shakespeare in singles competition. These two impressive, young athletes put on a clinic. It’s clear that all of their hard work is paying off. The speed was cranked up as both men fought for an advantage. Reed pulled off an incredible Firefly from the top turnbuckle to defeat Ace and gain some momentum heading into Horror-Core. Reed, however, wasn’t finished. He grabbed a mic and called out Rockstar Pro World Champion Trey Miguel. Unfortunately for Reed, Miguel answered the call and hit the ring with a fury. He took out Reed and stood above him with his World Championship held high.
The next match featured my bro Clayton Jackson going head-to-head against Nate Wings. I was 100% confident that my boy would take out that do-gooder pipsqueak Wings, but things rarely work out the way I want them to. Clay dominated the match early on, but Wings simply would not stay down. Unfortunately, Nate yet again pulled off an impressive Springboard Dragonrana to actually pin Clay for the three count. Nate will face another huge competitor in a David and Goliath Match against “The Legendary” Larry D, while my bro Jackson takes on Zachary Wentz in a Casket Match at Horror-Core. It’s going to be nuts!
More great action followed with three tag teams battling it out in the ring. It was “The Complete Athlete” Devon Driscoll & “Man of Tomorrow” Daniel Eads versus The Foundation (“Street Rat” Sid Fabulous & Pat the Bruiser) versus the pair of Pompano Joe & Donovan Danhausen. Driscoll and Eads are pure monsters able to physically dominate every opponent they’ve faced in the ring. The Foundation, however, are survivors and always have each other’s backs. Pompano and Danhausen are... something. Bruce Grey brilliantly slid in to rock Pompano with a DDT, and Pat covered “Everyone’s Homie” for the win! Grey then grabbed a mic to set everyone straight regarding his Finisher Match with Jon Murray at Horror-Core. The room then got fatter, as Murray himself waddled into view. He took down both Sid and Pat, but he couldn’t escape a DDT from Grey! It’s my sincere hope that Grey finally ends the menace of Murray this Friday.
“The Baddest Man Alive” Aaron Williams faced “The Sickest Dude in the UK” Craig West in singles action next. West hasn’t found much success yet at Rockstar (probably because he’s friends with that wiener Wentz), but the Rockstar Nation seems to love him. The “Pro-American” West put up a good fight, but he didn’t impress the actual American Williams. Once Williams positioned West in the Cradle Piledriver everyone in the arena knew it was over. After the impact, Williams covered for three and the win. All three Night Ryderz will face the trio of West, Cole Radrick & Shigehiro Irie in a Lights Out Match at Horror-Core.
Our main event pitted Night Ryder Alex Colon against “Space Beast” Shigehiro Irie in singles action. What an amazing contest! These two incredible athletes to one another to the limits of human endurance. Every single strike seemed bone-shattering, and no quarter was given by either man. Shigehiro climbed high upon the turnbuckle and launched himself into the air. He splattered Alex with a devastating Beast Bomber to gain the pinfall victory! I’ve never before seen Irie connect with that particular move, and the impact was impressive to say the least! Before Colon and Irie could even leave the ring, a brawl spilled out from backstage. Reed and Miguel were fighting tooth and nail. They battled into the ring where Myron got the advantage and punished Trey with a Firefly. He demanded that security bring him the Rockstar Pro World Championship and held it aloft over the battered World Champion. Will we witness a similar sight at Horror-Core?
If you don’t come to Horror-Core this Friday I personally guarantee** you’ll be hacked apart by a chainsaw-wielding maniac. Catch all the carnage in-person and on Nu-TV, FITE.TV, and Rockstarpronetwork.com. It’s going to be insane! Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.
*JT Davidson would defeat her at intermission to become the new Fanny Pack Champion. Yikes. Fanny Packs totally clash with three-piece suits.
**Not a guarantee.