Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 11-22-17)
December is right around the corner, and so is A Killer Christmas. Before we get to that we have some business to cover. I know you’ve been consuming like ravenous monsters over the last few days. Now let us move beyond the overeating and sitting and shopping and more overeating and talk about some professional wrestling!
Amped began like an ordinary Wednesday but didn’t take long to escalate into an absolutely insane melee! JP began the show by welcoming the “Iron Manager” JT Davidson and the man who will challenge for the Rockstar Pro World Championship at A Killer Christmas to the ring. JT unsurprisingly had some choice words for Trey. “One Mean Hombre” Jake Crist couldn’t get a word in before our World Champion hit the ring. That loose cannon Jeremiah followed Miguel shortly thereafter. In the ensuing fracas JT was dropped before Jake locked in that dangerous Dragon Sleeper on Miguel! Our officials once again failed to pull Crist away from Miguel. The entire locker room poured into the ring and a massive brawl erupted! Even Dave Crist hit the ring to help out his brother. Fists, feet, and bodies flew in an epic display of mass hysteria. Even Rockstar Pro principal owners CW Scott and Gee Gee made desperate attempts to try to pry Jake off of Trey. Unable to bring order to the chaos in the ring, our owners sent the Rockstar Nation to the concessions and merch tables during an impromptu intermission. What a wild way to begin the show!
Our first official match of the evening pitted Ace Austin against the man who appeared to aid The Foundation during the earlier brawl “Big Bear” Benjamin Boone. Size and power clashed with speed and agility in this one. Boone is an intimidating opponent, but Ace has proven time and time again that he can not only survive but thrive at Rockstar Pro. Ace hit a modified version of The Fold to pin Boone for the 1-2-3. Austin can just about hit that move at anytime from anywhere! And when he does it’s light out for his opponent. You’ll need to do better than that to impress The Foundation’s leader “True Grit” Bruce Grey, Boone!
The Foundation was again in action when Pat the Bruiser took on the puzzling Alvarado. Alvarado is without doubt a formidable wrestler. He faced the massive PTB without fear. Pat, however, has gained incredible confidence by following Bruce Grey in The Foundation. He employed his significant strength advantage with power move after power move. The Bruiser blasted Alvarado with Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’ to get the win and salvage a bit of face for The Foundation.
A new trio at Rockstar Pro entered the ring in the form of Bomb Shelter (Joseph Schwartz, Randi West & Zodiak). They faced the infuriating combination of “Lost Girl” Samantha Heights, “White Trash Messiah” Ron Mathis, and that sextuple extra-large garbage bag full of rancid lard “Professional Ass Leak” Jon Murray. Bomb Shelter came to Dayton with a nasty attitude that I was glad to see aimed at their opponents. West proved a good foil to Heights, and Zodiak both looked and acted like a beast. Mathis positioned West in the Torture Rack, and that was that. She tapped, and Bomb Shelter fell to the most annoying trio in Rockstar Pro. Things got way more interesting after the match when The Foundation hit the ring. Bruce, Pat and Ben attacked Murray and his so-called friends until the lights faded to black and a familiar song rang out.
This led directly into our next match between “True Grit” Bruce Grey and “The Baddest Man Alive” Aaron Williams with Williams’ Rockstar Pro Trios Captain’s Championship on the line. What a great conflict between two of pro wrestling’s most influential leaders of men! Williams employed his deadly strikes as Grey countered with smart tactics and solid grappling. They then took it to the mat with both wrestlers pinning one another’s shoulders to the canvas. Three seconds later a double pin was declared by the official. I argue this should have made both men co-captains of the Trios Champions Night Ryderz, but that was not the case. Bullshit call, officiating team! Anyway, Aaron retained his title... for the time being. After the match Mathis, Murray and Heights attacked the members of The Foundation and fought with them back into the locker room.
Our next contest pitted another member of the Night Ryderz in the form of Dustin Rayz against a day one Rockstar in Nate Wings. Nate has truly developed a taste for violence from competing against the Night Ryderz. It was only at the last Amped that he bloodied Williams’ head with a chair. Perhaps he’s drawing strength from memories of his classic Best of Seven with Alex Colon. In the end Rayz hit his devastating Double Underhook Piledriver on Wings for yet another Night Ryderz victory. The Ryderz are looking extra tough going into our December featured show. Will anyone ever take down our inaugural Trios Champions?
Our penultimate contest was between two-thirds of the poorly named Gucci Gang (“Too Sick for this Whatever” Zachary Wentz & “Too Swole to Who Cares?” Clayton Jackson) and the unlikely pair of “The Legendary” Larry D and “Kinetic” Cole Radrick. Gucci Gang were their annoying yet undeniably athletic selves and managed to show some true tag team chemistry. Radrick and Larry D, on the other hand, continue to somehow co-exist in their mutual hatred. D hit an incredible Over-the-shoulder Backbreaker on that jerk Wentz to take him down and ordered Cole to make the cover. Three seconds later D and Radrick were victorious. It wouldn’t be a harmonious victory celebration, however, as Cole stood up to Larry D. Declaring, “I’m my own man,” Radrick flipped Larry the bird in an unmissable display of defiance. Mark my words. Cole’s going to pay for this one.
The main event of the evening was between Rockstar Pro World Champion “The Fresh Prince of Midair” Trey Miguel and former two-time World Champion “Juggernaut” Jeremiah in non-title action. It was a great match! In fact it was too good to give away to ungrateful swine like you. Subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com for the discounted price of only five bucks a month to see amazing matches like this one and more! In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment, Trey pinned Jeremiah’s shoulders with a Small Package to get the win and gain significant momentum heading into his title defense against Jake Crist at A Killer Christmas.
The Rockstar Pro World Championship will be defended in only a matter of days! Now that Trey has risen above carrying the weight of the idiots in the Rockstar Nation on his back, he can triumphantly and confidently step out of the Crist shadow and extend his already impressive championship reign! Be there for the next Amped and A Killer Christmas! Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.