Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 12-6-17)
A Killer Christmas rocked everyone’s asses right out of their butts! We have a new Rockstar Pro World Champion in Jake Crist and a new Trios Championships Captain in Ron Mathis. It was a wild night that significantly changed the pecking order at Rockstar Pro. Wednesday night at Amped we experienced the fallout.
The night began with an in-ring celebration of our new Rockstar Pro World Champion. At least that’s what was supposed to happen. JP said it wouldn’t be a great celebration without a great host then called Jon Murray to the ring. Where was our great host? Murray bumbled around like a doofus for awhile before calling the world champ to the ring. Instead, The Foundation and their REAL leader Bruce Grey hit the ring and attacked a dumbfounded Murray. Murray’s supposed friends Ron Mathis and Samantha Heights came to his aid. Half of the Rockstar Pro Trios Tag Team Champions “Big Bear” Ben Boone called out Mathis right then and there. Boone would use his single shot at Mathis’ Trios Captain’s Championship to dethrone their new official leader Ron Mathis.
This led directly into our first contest, as “Big Bear” Ben Boone faced “White Trash Messiah” Ron Mathis for the Captainship of the Rockstar Pro Trios Champions. It was muscle versus muscle as these two brutes collided in the ring! Ben fought with the ferocity and loyalty of a man whose true leader had been dethroned. Mathis raged and beat his chest as he does. Any Trios contest is without disqualifications, time limits or count-outs, so it was no surprise when Heights, Murray, Pat the Bruiser, and Bruce Grey all got involved. Unfortunately, in the end Mathis out-muscled a bear and powered Boone into a Torture Rack to win the match and retain his Rockstar Pro Trios Captain’s Championship.
In more singles action, “The Baddest Man Alive” Aaron Williams squared off against one of New York’s finest competitors Alvarado. The strikes flew hard and heavy in this one, and the action quickly spilled outside of the ring early on. Alvarado hit a particularly mean Cannonball to a seated “BMA” that smashed Williams against the steel guardrail. Once back in the squared circle, Aaron delivered incredible kicks to his opponent’s cranium. To end a ferocious contest, Williams dropped Alvarado on his skull with a nasty Cradle Piledriver. It was a hard hitting affair that truly fired up the Rockstar Nation.
The other half of the Rockstar Pro Trios Tag Team Champions Pat the Bruiser took on “Lost Girl” Samantha Heights in a one-on-one contest. Heights was pretty fired up after getting Speared by PTB in a tag contest at A Killer Christmas. Pat, however, has displayed incredible confidence since winning his first title at Rockstar Pro. He pulled a chair out from underneath the ring, seemingly forgetting Bruce Grey’s instructions about the rules of wrestling. Sam dropkicked the chair right into Pat’s face and climbed to the top turnbuckle to deliver a Bangarang. Heights underestimated Pat’s resilience, and he plucked her out of the air. Pat then took Sam Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’ to get the pinfall victory! Height will probably be even more lost than normal after that impact!
Triple Threat tag team action was up next between Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz & Alex Colon), Gucci Gang (Zachary Wentz & Clayton Jackson), and the pair of Pompano Joe and Donovan Danhausen. The Ryderz brought the violence, the Gang brought the attitude, and Donovan and Pompano brought whatever the hell it is they have going with each other. This was a crazy, action-packed match. Junior Junior Official Kent Slit managed another impressive feat. When pulled into a seven-man Chinlock he somehow hit a Stone Cold-worthy Stunner to all six other men! In the end, Jackson and Wentz combined forces to devastate Donovan Danhausen with a combination they call Gucci Guilty. The obnoxious boys of Gucci Gang got another win, but their Trios partner Myron Reed would face an even bigger challenge in our main event.
The new blood “Kinetic” Cole Radrick battled the day one original Nate Wings in another singles match. Both competitors came to the match with a game plan. It was all about the ankle. With each man going after the other’s wheels, one might expect a slow-paced slog of a match. Nothing could be further from the truth. These two really went at it! Each struggled to get the other to submit to the dreaded Ankle Lock, but neither competitor would relent. Whether in or out of the ring, neither Cole nor Nate would accept defeat. After 15 minutes without a clear victor, the match ended in a time limit draw. What a contest. I, for one, would definitely enjoy calling a rematch.
In a rivalry that has lasted months between two competitors who were inseparable for years, Jon Murray took on the former leader of The Foundation “True Grit” Bruce Grey. Both men were coming off of losses at A Killer Christmas, but Grey’s must’ve felt much more devastating. Neither “True Grit” himself nor yours truly can accept that Mathis is now the Trios Captain Champion and the default leader of The Foundation. Murray did his usual idiotic crap, while Bruce worked hard to gain the advantage. As Bruce locked in a potential DDT, Mathis’ grating voice boomed throughout the arena. “Your DDT is broke [sic],” he exclaimed! Unfortunately, this actually got in Bruce’s head. Murray was able to take advantage in the fattest possible way and pinned Grey’s shoulders with a Schoolboy. What a colossal asshole! Bruce just couldn’t take it anymore. He DDTed Prospect #2, the referee, one of our young security staff, and even JP! The DDT is clearly not broken!
Our main event contest pitted Rockstar Pro World Champion “One Mean Hombre” Jake Crist against “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed in an open challenge for Crist’s championship. Crist had a tough act to follow after former Rockstar Pro World Champion “The Fresh Prince of Midair” Trey Miguel defended the same title on an almost weekly basis, but “Iron Manager” JT Davidson promised that Jake would be a fighting champion. These two had an incredible match that you absolutely must see on Rockstarpronetwork.com! Myron went for his bread and butter Flame On, but Crist deftly caught his airborne opponent in the Dragon Sleeper. Once that’s locked on, it’s game over for the champion’s competition. Jake Crist remains your two-time Rockstar Pro World Champion. But who will step up to the open challenge next week?
That’s it for this edition of Amped, shitlordes! Be sure to catch us live and in-person every Wednesday night and witness everything you’ve missed with hours upon hours of wrestling action on Rockstarpronetwork.com. Subscriptions are now just $5.00 US per month! Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.