Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 1-3-18)
It’s 2018, you dirty revelers! A new year, new beginnings, new whatever. Nothing lasts forever, and we all die alone. At least you can count on amazing in-ring action every week at Rockstar Pro Wrestling!
The first match of the year was a singles contest between Trios Tag Champion Clayton “Gainz” Jackson and one-time honorary member of Gucci Gang Ace Austin. These two young athletes were eager to impress the Rockstar Nation in Rockstar Pro’s debut match of 2018. Ace displayed impressive agility, while Clayton looked as yoked as ever. Ace’s downfall was his obsession with screwing with Jackson’s head. Ace attempted to dazzle Clay with a card trick. Clay responded with a massive 3CC for the pinfall and the win. Things were off to a hot start!
The Best of Seven Series between “Kinetic” Cole Radrick and Nate Wings continued with their third pairing. Wings entered the contest with a 2-0 lead, while Radrick was desperate for a win. Although both men defeated “The Legendary” Larry D in the past, they may have found their toughest challenge in one another! These two are adjusting tactics and modifying strategies with each encounter. In the first two matches, Nate outwrestled and outperformed Cole. In their third encounter, Wings outsmarted his opponent. Cole went for the Backlund, but Nate quickly reversed it into a pinning predicament and got the three count win! It’s do or die time for Cole Radrick as he trails the series 0-3.
“Iron Manager” JT Davidson and “Human GIF Machine” Dave Crist hit the ring, and Davidson had the Rockstar Pro World Championship over his shoulder. He claimed that Jake Crist considered the World Championship to belong to both Crist and Davidson, as it was Jake who took JT’s place in a challenge against then champion Trey Miguel when Davidson was deemed physically unfit to compete. JT also had some choice words for Gucci Gang regarding their Rockstar Pro Trios Championships defense against OI4K. He argued that the “kids” in Gucci Gang needed to be taught some respect and that there are no better teachers than Dave Crist, Sami Callihan and Jessicka Havok. Both the Trios Championships and World Championship will be on the line this Friday at Halloween Havok ’96!
Next up, it was Pompano Joe versus “8 Ball” Eddie Only in a one-on-one contest. Joe has grown more and more violent with each passing week since he attacked Night Ryderz with a steel chair and took Alex Colon out of commission. He didn’t let up one bit on Eddie Only in Only’s Rockstar Pro singles debut. “8 Ball” fought with all his might, but Pompano was on a roll. “Everyone’s Homie” hit a nasty Homie Driver to pin Eddie Only for the 1-2-3.
Tag team action followed with Night Ryderz (Aaron Williams & Dustin Rayz) versus The Foundation (Benjamin Boone & Pat the Bruiser). Before the match began, Rayz had something to say. With Pompano Joe getting the better of the Ryderz at every turn, Rayz ruminated on whether the Night Ryderz had lost their edge. Ultimately, he decided that Pompano had simply pissed off the Night Ryderz and that he and Williams would have their revenge. Before that could happen, they would have to deal with the big bruising beasts of The Foundation. All four men threw wild fists and fought with everything they had in this bout between barbarians and beasts. Ultimately, it was the Ryderz who would gain the advantage. Aaron took Alex’s role by delivering the Double Stomp aspect of the Ride of Death on Boone to secure another victory for the Night Ryderz. Williams and Rayz didn’t have much time to celebrate. Pompano Joe slid into the ring and blasted both Ryderz in the back of their bald heads with his boombox!
It was inspiration versus perspiration when “One-Armed & Dangerous” Gregory Iron took on “Skechers Wide Bois Spokesperson” Jon Murray. Murray hit Iron with a particularly hard blow that caused Iron to roll out of the ring. When the official checked on Greg, Bruce Grey appeared to punish Murray with a devastating DDT. Iron gladly took advantage of the predicament and pinned the obese shitlorde for the win. Afterward, Grey extended Iron an invitation to join The Foundation. Iron accepted! The Foundation’s leader and newest member were joined by the rest of the group and put the boots to Murray. Murray’s trios partners “Lost Girl” Samantha Heights and the injured “White Trash Messiah” Ron Mathis tried to come to his aid. PTB held Heights back, and The Foundation beat the crap out of Mathis. Ron’s injured foot was the target of their aggressions. Grey grabbed a steel chair and wrapped it around Mathis’ ankle before stomping on it like mad! Mathis will be lucky if he can even compete at Halloween Havok ’96.
Our penultimate contest of the evening pitted “Juggernaut” Jeremiah against “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed. Experience and venom clashed with youth and enthusiasm in this exhilarating contest. Reed kept a quick pace that was only slowed down when Jeremiah connected with powerful kicks. Despite Jeremiah’s best offense, Myron took the advantage. His Louisville Slugger connected, but Jeremiah deftly countered Flame On. Eventually, Reed got Jeremiah in position to deliver a perfect 450 Splash to get the win. Reed’s Trios Tag Championship will be on the line, plus Jeremiah has a chance at becoming two-time Rockstar Pro Champion this Friday!
The main event of the night was one for the ages! Rockstar Pro Trios Champions Captain “Too Sick For This World” Zachary Wentz took on “Worldwide Desperado” Sami Callihan in a preview of their Trios Championship match at Friday’s Halloween Havok ’96. These two former Rockstar Pro World Champions took it to the next level for this main event in a match that was a bit of a homecoming for Callihan. I’m not going to give away too much here, but Wentz managed to escape the Stretch Muffler on two separate occasions! How? You’ll have to subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com to find out. In the end, Callihan defeated Wentz with a Double-Underhook Shoulder Breaker that took the Rockstar Nation’s breath away! What a way to begin the year in wrestling!
We’re already off to a great 2018 at Rockstar Pro! If you couldn’t make it to Amped this week, it’s okay. You can make it up to me by attending Halloween Havok ’96: A Three-Hour Extravaganza this Friday, January 5th. It’ll be an incredible show with a ‘90s-themed costume contest! Be there, and be square. And don’t forget you can now subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com for only five US dollars a month! Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.