Voice of Professional Wrestling (Halloween Havok '96: A Three-Hour Extravaganza 1-5-18)
No yeti! No monster trucks! No Rey dressed as purple Spider-Man! Nope! This was Halloween Havok ’96: A Three-Hour Extravaganza! Rockstar Pro kicked off the year with a wild Friday night that somehow combined 1996’s hopeful optimism with 2018’s begrudging acceptance in a completely unique wrestling experience. Read on to learn all about this historic event.
The night began with a match that couldn’t wait until the end of the show, as Rockstar Pro World Champion “One Mean Hombre” Jake Crist put his title and his pride on the line against “Juggernaut” Jeremiah. The hatred between these two finally boiled over after months of Jeremiah targeting Crist. Jake was willing to risk his spot at the top of the Rockstar Pro mountain just to get an iota of payback against the dangerous Jeremiah. They went direct after one another with arms and legs swinging for the fences. It was an even-handed brawl until Jake broke out his ultimate weapon. As quick as lightning, Jake got behind Jeremiah and locked in his insurmountable Dragon Sleeper to retain his title and finally shake the “Juggernaut” off his back.
Tag team action followed between the Gym Nasty Boys (“Sultan of Stank” White Mike & Timmy Lou Retton) and the Hooligans (Devin & Mason Cutter). This one was a massive clash of personalities between two yam-loving stank brothers and tow bar brawling actual brothers. The Gym Nasties got an early advantage with the use of a “sticky mitten.” The pace of the match eventually settled into the Hooligans’ style, and the brothers Cutter took control. A devastating Drive-By on Timmy Lou secured a victory for the Hooligans and washed away the stains of whatever was in that mitten.
The magnificent Ace Austin took on “The Star of the Show” Jaxon Stone in Stone’s Rockstar Pro debut. Stone came to Rockstar Pro after spending some time playing professional baseball, and he proved to be a slugger in the ring as well! Ace, however, employed his speed advantage to shuck and jive around Stone’s mighty blows. Austin positioned Stone and hit him with The Fold to drop his much larger opponent for the three count. What a win for the quickly rising star Ace Austin!
More great tag team competition was up next when “Suge D” Sugar Dunkerton teamed up with “Everyone’s Homie” Pompano Joe to face Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz & Aaron Williams). With Pompano attacking Night Ryderz with weapons week after week, the men who live in darkness were hungry for revenge. Rayz even gave Dunkerton an opportunity to bow out, but “Suge D” came for a fight! This was a hard-hitting, brutal affair between four strong, angry men. As Night Ryderz got into position to deliver devastating kicks, Williams dropped to the ground grabbing his ankle. Rayz saw his partner in trouble and immediately delivered a Double-Underhook Piledriver to Pompano Joe to secure the win. Will Pompano Joe recognize his folly in attacking the Ryderz? Perhaps. Or perhaps he’ll need to be dropped on his head a few more times.
In the most ‘90s match of Halloween Havok ’96 “Macho” Gregory Iron (with the lovely Liz in his corner) faced off against “Undead Bride” Su Yung in a Slim Jims on a Pole Match. No. I am not kidding. This contest entered into the realm of the extreme with nunchaku built from Slim Jims, sharpened Slim Jims driven into a board, and thousands of tack-like Slim Jims strewn across the ring. Eventually, Iron got enough of an advantage to snag the meat from on high and deliver a valuable win to his Foundation brethren. Then all hell broke loose. Iron added pain to punishment with a picture perfect Elbow Drop onto the defeated Yung. Iron’s Foundation brother “Big Bear” Ben Boone hit the ring to help Greg celebrate, then Jon Murray had to ruin everything. He burst in dressed like a dime store Hogan and lumbered around like a jackass. A recovered Su Yung spat gross red mist directly into the victorious Iron’s face, and Murray began selling meat to the Rockstar Nation. Once again, Jon Murray turned a victory celebration into a god damn horror show.
Up next was a Six-Man Tag Match between two factions who have nothing but hatred and contempt for each other. It was The Foundation (“True Grit” Bruce Grey, “Big Bear” Ben Boone & Pat the Bruiser) versus the collective of “White Trash Messiah” Ron Mathis, “2 Wide 2 Hide” Jon Murray and “Whispering Eye” Samantha Heights. Bruce and Sam kicked things off in the ring, but Grey was way too much of a gentleman to hit a woman. It was a great encounter despite the contributions of Jon Murray. In the end, Bruce delivered his team the win with a blistering DDT on Samantha Heights, just like a great leader should! See, Rockstar Nation? Bruce’s DDT clearly still works.
Big bruisers collided in the tag team division when “Pro Wrestling’s Maniac” Joe Gacy teamed up with “Prince of Pro” Alexander James to take on Lethal Enforcers (Anthony Henry & James Drake). This match was so awesome, our announcer JP couldn’t even remember Drake’s name! I’m really growing to enjoy the Lethal Enforcers and feel if they could find a consistent third man, they could be a real threat in the Trios division. Gacy always strives to impress at Rockstar Pro, and his partner looked magnificent in the ring as well. These four competitors put on a wrestling clinic, exhibiting sound tag team tactics, amazing feats of strength, and incredibly impressive endurance throughout this conflict. Gacy brought this one to an end with a Bicycle Kick to Drake followed by a Suicide Dive out of the ring onto Henry. Alexander James then pinned James Drake to bring his team the win.
The only two wrestlers to have defeated “Legendary” Larry D at Rockstar Pro continued their Best of Seven Series with match number four. It was “Kinetic” Cole Radrick versus Nate Wings in the all-important fourth entry in their series. Nate led 3-0, so it was do or die time for Cole. Guess what? Cole died. Not literally, of course! However, after Wings repeatedly slammed Radrick’s face into the canvas Cole may have wished for sweet release. Just like that Nate Wings swept the series. What a massive win for one of our few day one stars!
Our main event saw Gucci Gang (“Too Sick For This World” Zahary Wentz, “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed & “Too Swole To Control” Clayton Jackson) put their Rockstar Pro Trios Championships on the line against their longtime mentors OI4K (“Worldwide Desperado” Sami Callihan, “The Havok Death Machine” Jessicka Havok & “Human GIF Machine” Dave Crist). This one was all about respect between teachers and students. It was an insane contest that quickly spilled out of the ring and into the Rockstar Nation. Absolute brutality was the rule with all six competitors giving it their all. Havok grabbed Wentz, climbed to the second rope, flipped Zach upside-down and took to the air before landing an earth-shattering Tombstone Piledriver on the Trios Champions Captain! Havok covered him, and three seconds later we had brand new Rockstar Pro Trios Champions! Havok proved why she was the show’s namesake by becoming Trios Champions Captain! The night ended with all four members of OI4K standing tall in the ring with every championship belt in Rockstar Pro held high and JT Davidson absolutely beaming. OI4K seem to be taking over for the second time at Rockstar Pro!
What a great first Rockstar Pro iPPV of 2018! Things are only going to get better in February when Rockstar Pro celebrates our anniversary with VI on Friday, February 2nd and Wrestling Revolver presents Naito Takes Dayton on Friday, February 16th! It’s going to be one helluva year! Catch it all in-person or by subscribing to Rockstarpronetwork.com for only $5.00 per month. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.