Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 1-31-18)

Are you ready, wingnuts and dinguses? It’s almost time. VI is mere hours away, and you can feel the energy in the air around Rockstar Pro Arena. There’s one last Amped to cover before we get to Rockstar Pro’s biggest show of the year. Hold on to your butts, as I take you on this wild ride!

The night began in an unusual fashion with principal owner CW Scott in the ring. Scott expressed exuberance about our upcoming anniversary show VI and reintroduced the infamous Fanny Pack Championship. An interrupting Alvarado hit the ring and demanded both respect and to be handed the career changing Fanny Pack. As he engaged in a tug of war with our principal owner, Jon Murray slowly lumbered to the ring. Alvarado got the Thumb in the Bum in a humiliating moment of sexual assault. Murray then took a gentler approach, trying to imitate some sort of adorably obese cartoon character. I’m not sure what CW has been smoking, but he fell for Murray’s routine! He simply handed it over, and Jon Murray became Rockstar Pro Fanny Pack Champion. What has become of this world!?

Our first match of the evening pitted “White Trash Messiah” Ron Mathis against The Foundation’s Pat the Bruiser. I’m sure Bruce was happy that the massive PTB was in this match to soften Mathis up before VI. The two strongmen battled for in-ring supremacy, with Mathis impressively hoisting the Bruiser high into the air on multiple occasions. After an early failed attempt, Mathis was able to nail Pat with a fearsome Superplex that splattered the big man into the canvas. The “White Trash Messiah” then mocked Bruce Grey by telling the cameraman to zoom before hitting Pat with a DDT to bring this one to an end. What a show of disrespect to the leader of The Foundation!

Contest number two saw two young guns go head-to-head when “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed took on “Kinetic” Cole Radrick. While the two competitors are known for vastly different in-ring styles, both of them go full speed all the time. This match was a high-paced, energetic affair that displayed a great deal of wrestling acumen. Counter after counter, kick out after kick out, these two gave it everything they had. In the end, Myron countered Radrick’s Just One Yesterday into a Firefly of his own to get the pin and the win. Reed truly built some important momentum going into his match against 2 Cold Scorpio at VI, while Radrick must once again question himself before he faces Nate Wings at VI for a shot at payback.

Tag team action followed featuring Bad Dudes (“Juggernaut” Jeremiah & Pompano Joe), Night Rydrez (“The Baddest Man Alive” Aaron Williams & Dustin Rayz), and The Dirty (Austin Manix & Brandon Edwards). This match was like the state of nature: nasty, brutish and short. All six competitors threw mean strikes and sacrificed their bodily safety for their partners. Bad Dudes gained an early advantage by singling out “Bulletproof” Brandon Edwards and keeping him in their corner. It was classic tag team tactics at their best. Just as Night Ryderz were getting an advantageous position, Jeremiah pinned Aaron Williams with a Small Package to earn a difficult victory. Immediately afterward, Aaron hit the Cradle Piledriver on Jeremiah before Dustin Rayz punished Pompano with a Catalyst Driver. Rayz will be joined by a recovered Alex Colon to challenge Sami Callihan and Dave Crist for their Trios Tag Championships at VI, while Williams and Jeremiah will square off in singles competition. Both matches have me pumped for the possibilities!

The Foundation (“True Grit” Bruce Grey & “Big Bear” Ben Boone) took on the pair of “Lost Girl” Samantha Heights and “Front Butt” Jon Murray. Murray acted like an idiot, while Heights did all the work for her team. Grey and Boone, however, worked together like a well-oiled wrestling machine. In a hilarious moment of turnabout, Grey regained the psychological advantage over Ron Mathis. He used Mathis’ own Torture Rack to force a submission out of Samantha Heights and earn his team the win. What superior intellect! Grey and Mathis will finally settle their differences in a Chillicothe Street Fight at VI, while Murray will team with ECW legend Tommy Dreamer against Boone and Pat the Bruiser!

“Too Swole to Control” Clayton Jackson squared off against Nate Wings in an intriguing singles contest. Nate proved once again that he is so much more than a high-flyer by smartly focusing his attacks on Jackson’s right arm and shoulder. Wings wore down his opponent, but Clay is one tough bastard if nothing else. Jackson powered through the pain to deliver a Muscliest Musclebuster Ever to Wings. Clay earned that win, but at what price to his body and his chances at VI? Jackson will have his work cut out for him as he challenges “The Havok Death Machine” Jessicka Havok for her Trios Captain’s Championship at VI. Nate, on the other hand, will have a much easier time taking on a man he swept 4-0 in their Best of Seven Series in Cole Radrick.

Team Tiger Blood (Maxwell Jacob Friedman & “Acey Baby” Ace Romero) had their debut match as a tag team against the pairing of Alvarado and Ace Austin. The Rockstar Nation was as disrespectful as ever, wasting miles upon miles of perfectly good toilet paper in an effort to disrespect MJF. Team Tiger Blood smartly maintained a laser precise focus against their able competition. After some impressive mat wrestling from Friedman, Romero crushed Alvarado with a Uranage Slam to definitively display that these two East Coast marvels are here to takeover the Midwest Territory. Want the details? Subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com for a mere five bones a month!

Our main event was meant to be an open challenge issued by Rockstar Pro World Champion “One Mean Hombre” Jake Crist. “The Fresh Prince of Midair” Trey Miguel, however, had other ideas. As Crist and “Iron Manager” JT Davidson were making their entrance, Miguel violently attacked both men from behind. When Miguel focused his aggressions on Davidson, Crist was able to lock in the Dragon Sleeper on his VI challenger. Jeremiah then ran to the ring and inadvertently saved Trey by beating on Jake. Aaron Williams then went after Jeremiah before Dustin Rayz joined in on the attack! The entire Rockstar Pro locker room emptied into the ringside area in a unbelievably massive brawl! In the midst of all the chaos, Trey clocked JT Davdison in the face with a skull-rattling chair shot before violently introducing the Rockstar Pro World Championship belt to Jake Crist’s face! “The Fresh Prince of Midair” stood tall, proudly holding the World Championship high in the air. Will this be the scene when Miguel and Crist meet at VI? Be there to find out!

What a crazy night! Only a show as big as VI will be able to top this insanity! Be there live at 1106 E. 3rd St. in Dayton for the best independent wrestling going today, and subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com to ensure you never miss a moment of great wrestling action. Join us tonight for VI, or be left out in the cold. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.

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