Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 2-7-18)
Every morning since VI I’ve gotten up and pinched myself in a desperate attempt to awaken from this terrifying hellscape. Every morning I’m disappointed. Jon Murray is still Rockstar Pro World Champion. The nightmare continues.
The first thing we saw during this edition of Amped was a video that completely altered our main event for the night. In it we caught the aftermath of a brutal attack on would-be challenger Sami Callihan by the likes of Maxwell Jacob Friedman and Ace Romero. With Callihan temporarily out of the picture, who would challenge “I Can’t Believe This is Happening” Jon Murray for his Rockstar Pro World Championship? Ron Mathis quickly answered that question. Mathis was scheduled to take on Trey Miguel, but Miguel was out with the flu. Ron challenged, and the fattest title-holder ever accepted. It would be Mathis versus Murray for the Rockstar Pro World Championship in our main event.
Our opening contest pitted Nate Wings against the returning Brian Pillman Jr. Wings not only employed his typical high-flying offense and mind games, he also tactically focused on Pillman’s left arm in an effort to weaken his powerful opponent. The Rockstar Nation was definitely supportive of the second generation wrestler despite Nate’s drive and athletic prowess. Pillman Jr. got in a few good licks with a well-placed Dropkick and an incredibly snappy Powerslam. However, Nate’s agility and intellect paid off when a quick Sunset Flip led to a pin and a three-count. Better luck next time, Jr!
Intergender singles action followed between “Lost Girl” Samantha Heights and “Cutthroat” Austin Manix. It was a tale of contrasting styles between the moxie-fueled Heights and The Dirty’s hardest hitter. After a brief feeling-out process, these two went right at it. Heights used everything in her arsenal to send Austin into the corner before she delivered an F Your Face! Manix must’ve done his homework. He quickly rolled out of the ring before Samantha could position him for a Bangarang. Manix proved that sometimes it is indeed all about muscle and defeated Heights with a crushing Sit-out Powerbomb! Even without Edwards, Manix is indeed DAF!
Larry D would attempt to continue his path of destruction as he went one-on-one against Ace Austin. Much like the match before it, this one was power and strength versus speed and agility. I don’t typically fawn over our talent at Rockstar Pro, but Ace Austin impressed the hell out of me in this contest! The young man simply would not stay down. Blow after blow delivered by the monstrous Larry D just wouldn’t keep this kid flat on the mat. Austin even managed to get in some formidable offense. Larry D has proven time and time again that he is near impossible to defeat in the Rockstar Pro ring. The exclamation point at the end of this incredible contest was a Swinging Flatliner by Larry D that finally kept Austin down and earned D one of his most hard-won victories of his tenure at Rockstar Pro! Nice try, Ace. Great effort! But you’re still a loser.
JP then welcomed the leader of The Foundation “True Grit” Bruce Grey to the ring for his first State of The Foundation Address. Bruce entered the ring smiling and waving at the Rockstar Nation. According to Bruce, “The Foundation is just fine.” Grey repeated this mantra again and again at ringside as the rest of The Foundation imploded in the ring. Ben Boone and Pat the Bruiser attacked one another, both still disappointed over their loss at VI. Ben and Pat savagely beat on one another while a willingly oblivious Grey continued his speech. Before the big men could resolve their differences, Bruce jumped back into the ring with Prospect #2 following close behind. Prospect mumbled something about his balls before Bruce KOed him with a DDT. The Foundation’s leader then DDTed both Boone and the Bruiser with a smile on his face. Oh, Brucey Jack. I’m still in your corner, brother.
Former Rockstar Pro World Champion “One Mean Hombre” Jake Crist faced the man who some say cost him his title at VI in “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed. Generations collided in this incredible contest between two supreme athletes. This match alone is worth the $5.00 monthly fee for a Rockstarpronetwork.com subscription! As the battle wore on, Crist gained more and more confidence. Jake locked in his killer Dragon Sleeper from out of nowhere, and everyone in the Rockstar Pro Arena thought the match was finished. Myron proved he’s pretty bright for his age when he used his last reserves of energy to deftly flip over Jake and pin Crist’s shoulders to the mat for the 1-2-3! What a massive victory for young Myron Reed!
Tag team action followed when Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz & Alex Colon) took on Team Tiger Blood (“Too Swole To Control” Clayton Jackson & “Acey Baby” Ace Romero). This was not a Trios rules match as neither the Captain's nor Tag Team Championships were on the line. The Ryderz were still hungry for revenge after TTB horned in on their Trios Tag Championship match at VI, but Romero and Jackson were ready for a fight. It looked like the end for Team Tiger Blood when Dustin lifted Clayton into position for the Ride of Death. Colon, however, overshot his jump and landed right on the shoulders of a waiting Romero. Romero slammed Colon to the canvas with a nasty DVD, as Jackson escaped Rayz’s clutches. Clay drove Dustin’s neck into the top rope, leaving the Ryder open to a fantastic Uranage Slam from Romero. Three seconds later Team Tiger Blood was once again victorious. Watch out, established talent and in-ring vets! The youngbloods at Rockstar Pro are coming after you.
Bad Dudes Pompano Joe and “Juggernaut” Jeremiah hit the ring, as announcer JP had some questions for them. Pompano seemed to believe that the duo was back together, but Jeremiah wasn’t into it. It didn’t take long before harsh words turned into hard punches, as these two former friends beat the hell out of each other. Jeremiah escaped with some degree of dignity intact, while Pompano stood in the ring enraged and confused.
That brings us to our main event where “Big Daddy Ron” Ron Mathis challenged his obese pal “#NotMyWorldChampion” Jon Murray for the Rockstar Pro World Championship. Murray was his usual baboonish bumblefuck self, as Mathis did his best to get the World Championship to take wrestling seriously. When an inadvertent blow took out the ref, Mathis chose not to wallop Murray with a chair. Way to throw away your title shot, Mathis! Nevertheless, Mathis went for a Sunset Flip and tried to muscle Murray down to the mat. Unfortunately, Murray just dropped to his fat ass and flattened Mathis beneath his girth. And that’s how Murray came to a successful first title defense. By sitting down. BY FUCKING DROPPING TO HIS STUPID FAT ASS! Typical. It’s been less than a week, and this reign already feels like an eternity. A fat, stupid, alcoholic eternity.
Well, this is still happening. The world continues to let me down. Remember to subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com to witness Jon Murray kill wrestling. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling... a sport I used to adore until Jon Murray ruined everything.