Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 2-28-18)
It’s come to this space perverts. Jon Murray is Rockstar Pro World Champion and gets to name the shows now. Thus, this Friday it’s Welcome to Awesometown. I expect a great show despite Murray’s involvement. But before we get there, let’s cover the results from this week’s Amped.
The night began with the drizzling shits as Jon Murray clown stomped around the ring. He rambled about nothing before inviting Ace Austin to join him. Murray wished Ace a happy 21st birthday and offered him a beer. Trey Miguel appeared ready to make peace and drink a beer in celebration of Austin’s burgeoning manhood. It was all a clever ruse though, as Trey spit beer in both their dumb faces, took Ace down, and brawled with Murray back into the locker room. Thank you, Trey!
“Legendary” Larry D saw an opportunity to wish Ace a happy birthday in his own unique way, as he tossed a dazed Austin into the ring. With that our opening contest became a singles bout between Larry D and Ace Austin! Their previous match saw Ace put in an heroic effort. Things were very different this time around. D took advantage of a weakened Ace and absolutely dominated his smaller opponent. After a vicious beat down, Larry punished Ace with a life-shortening Swinging Flatliner. Happy birthday, kid! Life only gets harder from here on out. Larry D and Ace Austin will face off again at Welcome to Awesometown. Hopefully, Ace will have shaken off the hangover by then.
Next up, JP invited all three Night Ryderz into the ring. Dustin Rayz then laid down the gauntlet. He and Alex Colon would challenge whoever held the Trios Tag Team Championships at the end of the night to a title match sometime in the near future. Aaron Williams also had some news. His match against Jeremiah at Welcome to Awesometown would be refereed by none other than Jerry Lynn! Immediately following that announcement, Jeremiah then hit the ring with a steel chair in tow. The “Juggernaut” blasted Williams and Colon before Rayz could get his hands on him.
That set up an impromptu singles match between “Juggernaut” Jeremiah and Dustin Rayz of the Night Ryderz. The two went after one another full bore with hard hits and mean, powerful offense. The action was so violent it couldn’t be contained to the ring. Both men brawled to the ringside area, and Jeremiah was the first to slide back into the squared circle. As Dustin climbed back into the ring, Jeremiah kicked the ropes and crotched an unaware Rayz. He then quickly pinned Rayz with a Small Package to take the win and gain a good deal of momentum going into Friday.
A Triple Threat match followed between Johnny Ruckus, Pompano Joe and Brian Pillman II. Pompano had his work cut out for him against two hungry youngsters with everything to prove. His younger opponents showed great speed and resiliency, but Joe was more clever. He watched Ruckus chuck an over-eager Pillman through the ropes. With Pillman out of the ring, Pompano hit Ruckus with a nasty Homey Driver for the 1-2-3. As Joe celebrated with his typical goofy dance, a masked wrestler appeared from beneath the ring. His behavior was almost alien-like, and he disappeared back under the ring as quickly as he arrived. Okay. That was weird.
Two day one originals squared off when Nate Wings took on “Big Daddy Ron” Ron Mathis. Nate must be watching tapes or just be smart enough to remember Mathis’ match from last week. Wings focused all of his offense on Ron’s left knee in order to keep the big man down. Unfortunately, Nate got a little too aggressive. Junior official PD Barton asserted his dominance and pushed Wings, thus giving Mathis a huge advantage. Mathis delivered a stiff right hand to Wings’ jaw before lifting his opponent up into the Torture Rack. Seconds later Nate tapped, and this one was over. Mathis will face a much bigger, much stronger opponent in The Barbarian in a match nobody thought they’d ever see at Welcome to Awesometown.
Once again, The Foundation entered the ring so their leader Bruce Grey could continue his State of The Foundation address. Just as Bruce got rolling on the mic, Rockstar Pro principal owner CW Scott interrupted to remind Grey that he would face both Pat the Bruiser and Ben Boone in a Triple Threat Match at Welcome to Awesometown. Bruce seemed determined to believe his own delusions until Prospect #2 informed the leader of The Foundation that his mic had been cut off. A maniacal Grey DDTed every other member of his group before storming off. Poor Brucey! I just hope these guys can work things out in the ring.
Team Tiger Blood (Clayton Jackson, Maxwell Jacob Friedman & Ace Romero) defended their Rockstar Pro Trios Championships against The Dirty (Brandon Edwards & Austin Manix) and “Kinetic” Cole Radrick. Team Dirty Coal were hungry for gold, but the champions provided stiff competition. The contest almost immediately went to ringside, and a melee ensued. In Trios competition there are no count outs, no disqualifications, and no time limits! That’s just the sort of environment where Tiger Blood can capitalize on their greatness. In the end, “Acey Baby”, MJF, and Clayton isolated Cole. Jackson rocked Radrick with a Drop Set before Ace finished him with a Uranage Slam. Clay easily pinned Cole, and Team Tiger Blood are truly on a roll!
Our main event saw “One Mean Hombre” Jake Crist with “Iron Manager” JT Davidson take on “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed one final time before their Tables Match at Welcome to Awesometown. This was just as impressive as their previous matches, and you can catch them all on Rockstarpronetwork.com! In the end, Myron went for an aerial attack off the ropes but slipped into the arms of an awaiting Crist. Jake locked in the Dragon Sleeper, but “The Fresh Prince of Midair” Trey Miguel interrupted the hold and attacked Crist. Jake technically won via disqualification, but he couldn’t have felt like a winner with Trey punching him in the face. Mryon helped his brother out by removing JT from the equation. An idiotic Jon Murray thought he’d be the hero, but instead Trey put him through a table! Trey stood tall with the Rockstar Pro World Championship in his hand, and I simply can’t wait to see the same result at Welcome to Awesometown!
Be at 1106 E. 3rd Street tonight for Welcome to Awesometown to see Jon Murray finally get his comeuppance! You can also catch up on everything Rockstar Pro at Rockstarpronetwork.com for just five bones a month. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.