Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 4-4-18)
Despite the snow and the cold and the freezing rain, Rockstar Pro’s Spring Break is right around the corner. With this massive show just nine days away, we had an incredible Amped in store for the Rockstar Nation. It was the Night of the Ryderz as both Alex Colon and Dustin Rayz would challenge for championship gold! How would this change the dynamic of Spring Break? Read on to find out.
The show began with a singles match between “The Revolutionary” Darius Lockhart and Rockstar Pro day one original Nate Wings. Lockhart impressed in what was only his second showing in a Rockstar Pro ring, but Nate proved to be no pushover. Wings used his speed an agility to keep “The Revolutionary” on his toes. In the end, it was quick thinking and ingenuity that won the night for Nate. Wings pinned Lockhart’s shoulders to the mat with an O’Connor Roll for the win! Sure, he had a handful of tights. But if the ref didn’t see it then it didn’t happen!
Tag team action followed between The Dirty (Austin Manix & Brandon Edwards) and The Administration (“Executive Secretary of Defense” Mr. Boone & “Executive Secretary of Offense” Mr. Bruise). It was a clash of power on power when these four bruising brawlers collided. The Dirty did their best to take down Bruce Grey’s Executive Secretaries, but The Administration stood strong. Boone and Bruise combined forces to hit Manix with a brutal Checks and Balances for the pin and the win.
The President of The Administration “True Grit” Bruce Grey hit the ring to join his Cabinet. Just as Grey was about to congratulate the winner of his first annual Egg Find, he was rudely interrupted. An oddly dressed Cole Radrick hopped the guard rail and spouted gibberish at Grey. He revealed that he was in possession of Bruce’s coveted denim egg. Bruce congratulated “El Kinetico” Cole with a picture perfect DDT. Bruce and The Administration left as Grey screamed about increasing the height of the barricade. Trey and Myron busted Cole’s head open the prior week, and Bruce just dumped Radrick on his dome. What further head trauma will Radrick suffer in the future? Tune in to find out!
Women’s action followed between “Lost Girl” Samantha Heights and the returning “Big Bang” Roni Nicole. Nicole was as tough as they come, but Samantha always fights with a never-ending supply of moxie. Roni used her size to her advantage, nearly flattening Heights beneath her substantial posterior. Sam, however, fought back to an advantageous position. Heights secured her second victory over Nicole with a sizzling Bangarang! Heights continues to take out any woman who dares to invade her territory.
The action continued with Rockstar Pro’s signature multi-competitor match. It was a Mosh Pit Scramble featuring Ace Austin, “The Human GIF Machine” Dave Crist, Lord Crewe, Pompano Joe, and “Special Dark” Suge D. It was a chaotic confrontation with all competitors throwing caution to the wind. Lord Crewe looked particularly impressive, while Suge D went for his second Scramble win in a row. In the end, it was Dave Crist who would come out on top. Dave hit an amazing Square & Compass on Suge D for the pin and the win.
After the Scramble, those two dancing weirdos emerged from beneath the ring again. They pranced around the ring like freaks until they were stopped dead in their tracks by “Legendary” Larry D’s music. Before Larry could decimate these freaks, Ron Mathis ran out and attacked them first. After Mathis destroyed the dancing weirdos, he challenged D to yet another match. Once again, it was “Big Daddy Ron” Ron Mathis taking on “Legendary” Larry D. D has been pummeling Ron into oblivion for weeks on end, and Mathis keeps coming back for more. This match gave Mathis his greatest opportunity to best D so far. The fight spilled outside of the ring where Mathis gained a huge advantage. Mathis could’ve won with a count out, but that idiot refused! He stopped the count to let D back into the ring. Larry quickly pinned a battered Mathis to add yet another win to his undefeated streak over “Big Daddy Ron.”
Clayton Gainz’s Rockstar Pro Trios Captain’s Championship was on the line against half of the Trios Tag Team Champions Alex Colon. This would be Colon’s single shot at Gainz’s title after fellow Night Ryder Dustin Rayz blew his shot at becoming Captain two weeks earlier. This was a great match that you’ll want to watch again and again on Rockstarpronetwork.com. The two proved great foils for one another. Alex dodged Clay’s most powerful attacks, while Clay escaped Alex’s infamous Camel Clutch. Alex unfortunately stuck to his plan and got right back on Clay. Colon again locked in the Camel Clutch and forced Clay to tap out! Alex Colon is your new Rockstar Pro Trios Captain’s Champion! That means Clayton Gainz will be forced to join Dustin Rayz as Trios Tag Team Champion. How will they work together? What will this mean for the rest of the Trios division? Can pre-workout cure depression? We’ll find out in the weeks to come!
Next up, it was a match for the Rockstar Pro World Championship. “Captain Drunky” Jon Murray defended his title against Night Ryder and half of the Trios Tag Team Champions Dustin Rayz. Rayz denied Murray a fan-thrown beer, challenging the obese title-holder to a bar fight. The two went back and forth until a bizarre twist of fate gave Jon the advantage. Murray somehow hit Rayz with a Choke Bomb for the unlikely pin and a shocking win. Jon Murray unfortunately retained his World Championship, and I died a little bit on the inside. Afterward, Jeremiah slithered into the ring and absolutely destroyed Jon Murray with a devastating Spear. Rayz attempted to defend his childhood friend Jon, but Jeremiah was having none of it. Jeremiah got the hell out of there and survived to face Murray for the title at Spring Break.
Our main event would pit Jake Crist against a mystery opponent in an intriguing match. During Jake’s entrance, he was jumped by Myron Reed and Cole Radrick. As they beat him down “Computer Blue” rang throughout the arena. Trey Miguel hit the ring in his Lisa gear. What the hell!? Is he back to being Lisa? This turned the main event into a tag match between Wendy & Lisa (Jake Crist & Trey Miguel) and Mryon Reed and Cole Radrick. It was a fast-paced, high-energy match full of unbelievable action. In the end, both Wendy and Lisa pinned their opponents with double Work of Art Backslides to take a big victory in a bizarre contest. Has Trey only temporarily lost his mind? Is this the beginning of a new era for Wendy & Lisa? What the hell is going on?
We have a new Rockstar Pro Trios Captain’s Champion in Alex Colon. Cole Radrick apparently thinks he’s someone else. Mathis still somehow believes he can defeat Larry D. Trey actually teamed with Jake Crist as Wendy & Lisa. It’s madness! Follow it all every Wednesday night in-person, or subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com for just five bucks a month to catch all the great action. Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.