Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 5-9-18)

Yeah, I know. It took me long enough. But can you really blame me for for wanting to keep Jon Murray out of my mind for as long as I can until I must? After a long, hard night’s work of enduring Mark’s idiocy, the last thing I want to think about until the following Wednesday is the Rockstar Pro World Champion. Anyway, enough of that. Last week’s Amped featured an eight man tournament to crown a new Trios Captain’s Champion! It’s really a bummer that Alex Colon is currently injured and was unable to defend his title, but it certainly made for an exciting edition of Amped! Let’s get to it.

Our opening contest was between “The Catalyst” Dustin Rayz and Nate Wings and was the first tournament match of the night. This was power and violence versus high-flying and finesse. It was an evenly matched contest, with Rayz bloodying up his elbow during a particularly furious attack. Wings repeatedly took to the air, but he was unable to keep this Night Ryder down. The Catalyst Driver brought Wings’ tournament to a quick end, as Rayz took the pinfall win to progress to the finals. It had to feel good for Rayz to advance and have a chance to reclaim the Trios Captain’s Championship for the Night Ryderz.

The second contest of the tournament pitted The President of the Administration “True Grit” Bruce Grey against “Too Swole to Control” Clayton Gainz. Do you like brains versus brawn? If so, this was the match for you! It was an incredible clash of styles that delivered on every level. Clay showed he can be a thinking man’s wrestler as well when he rolled to the outside of the ring during a particularly troubling exchange. As Gainz climbed back into the ring, a quick-thinking Grey grabbed him and delivered a monster DDT to Clay while his feet were still in the ropes! We all know that DDT equals 1-2-3, and that equation sent Bruce Grey directly into the finals.

“Pure Trash” Ron Mathis faced “Bare Knuckled Berserker” Lord Crewe in the third tournament qualifier match. “Juggernaut” Jeremiah was scheduled to face Mathis, but a niggling injury kept him out of the tournament. Crewe was, of course, more than happy to take Jeremiah’s place. This was pure strength versus... well... even more pure strength, as both Mathis and Crewe traded power moves and slugged it out with fists and feet. Mathis muscled Crewe into position for a Tombstone Piledriver and spiked him right on his head! Mathis won by pinfall and became the penultimate entrant in the finals.

Before the last of our tournament qualifying matches could begin, Rockstar Pro Trios Tag Team Champions “Hot Fiya” Myron Reed and “Fresh Prince of Midair” Trey Miguel hit the ring with microphones in hand. They made it clear that no matter who wins the tournament both Trey and Myron would come after the winner. Miguel and Reed are leaders, not followers! These amazing young talents and freshly crowned champions aren’t about to be anyone’s lackeys!

Our final qualifying bout saw “Batcole?” Cole Radrick and “Legendary” Larry D go head-to-head inside the squared circle. Cole did his best to capture lightning in a bottle twice and defeat Larry D for his second time at Rockstar Pro. Unfortunately for Radrick (and possibly because of his severe head trauma), he just couldn’t get the job done. “Batcole” proved quickly that he’s far from being the world’s greatest detective, as he couldn’t even solve the mystery of how not to get punched in the face by Larry D. D delivered a massive Knockout Punch to Cole’s jaw and easily advanced to the tournament finals. Either Larry D, Ron Mathis, Bruce Grey, or Dustin Rayz would become new Rockstar Pro Trios Captain’s Champion!

The battle of the Aces followed when “Acey Baby” Ace Romero took on “Stupid Sexy” Ace Austin. A lot is made of Austin’s impressive agility and athleticism, but let us not forget that Romero is one helluva athlete as well! Austin relied on his fancy footwork and quick attacks while Romero let his opponent wear himself out. A Uranage Slam followed immediately by a Back Senton brought Romero yet another victory and proved once and for all that he’s the one and only true Ace at Rockstar Pro! After this impressive victory, Rockstar Pro World Champion “Bag of Ham” Jon Murray hit the ring and confronted Romero. Murray got right in Acey’s face, but the winner of the 2018 Gem City Rumble wouldn’t back down. JP made the announcement later that night. Romero will challenge Murray for the Rockstar Pro World Championship at the Tournament of Fight!

Tag team action followed between Smoothie Kings (Pompano Joe & “Special Dark” Suge D), The Administration (“Executive Secretary of Defense” Mr. Boone & “Executive Secretary of Offense” Mr. Bruise), and The Dirty (“Bulletproof” Brandon Edwards & “Cutthroat” Austin Manix). This one was contested under Lucha Libre Rules with no tags necessary, so you know it was going to be crazy! It was another great tag team contest with all three teams hungry for a win. In the end, the Smoothie Kings doubled teamed Mr. Boone just like JCVD and Dennis Rodman. What a victory for Pompano Joe and Suge D!

The tournament to crown a new Rockstar Pro Trios Captain’s Champion followed with a Fatal Four-Way between Dustin Rayz, Ron Mathis, Larry D, and Bruce Grey. It was a great match featuring moments when all four competitors looked likely to come out on top. Bruce Grey learned that, even though his DDT is far from being broken, it still doesn’t work on Larry D. Even though they’d earned one another’s respect, Ron and Larry were ready for another fight. They brawled outside of the ring and gave Grey and Rayz a huge advantage. With Mathis and D out of the ring, Rayz hit Grey with a devastating Catalyst Driver to make the pin and take the win! The Mind of the Night Ryderz “The Catalyst” Dustin Rayz is your new Rockstar Pro Trios Captain’s Champion! He fought hard and deserved the win, but he better keep his head on a swivel. Reed and Miguel both want to lead their trio and will be gunning for Rayz for sure.

Our main event was one for the ages. “Too Sick for this World” Zachary Wentz returned to the Rockstar Pro Arena to take on “The Outlandish” Rich Swann. This was Swann’s first time wrestling back in Dayton in over five years! I’m not even going to attempt to describe it here. Frankly, you don’t deserve it unless you pay for it. I think it’s time to subscribe to Rockstarpronetwork.com. In the end, Wentz nailed Swann with a blinding UFO Cutter to claim the victory! I’ll give him this. That cocky, talented dick is one helluva wrestler.

Well, there you have it. You’d think I’d be thrilled that a true athlete like Ace Romero will challenge Jon Murray for the Rockstar Pro World Championship at June’s Tournament of Fight. But every time I get excited about a worthy contender, Jon Murray somehow magically farts his way to another victory. I’ve learned not to hope. That way if anything good happens at all I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Be sure to see us live and in-person every Wednesday, and catch up on everything you missed by subscribing to Rockstarpronetwork.com for a mere five bucks a month! Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.

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