Voice of Professional Wrestling (The F'n Catalina Wrestling Mixer Vol. 2 8-3-18)

Pow, weirdos! Pow! August in Dayton, Ohio means it’s time for The F’n Catalina Wrestling Mixer! This year Vol. 2 brought wrestling fans a tag team tournament with the ultimate prize being the Wrestling Revolver Tag Team Championships. Rich Swann’s Open Invite Championship was also on the line, plus Sami Callihan and Palmer looked to settle their issues in a street fight. Let’s do it to it!

The first round one matchup pitted current Wrestling Revolver Tag Team Champions The Rascalz (Dezmond Xavier & Zachary Wentz) against Killer Death Machines (Jessicka Havok & Nevaeh). Havok and Nevaeh started strong, fighting with true fury and aggression. Havok’s power and Nevaeh’s technical mat ability make these two a truly dangerous duo. Despite their best efforts in a helluva match, Killer Death Machines could not topple The Rascalz. Xavier and Wentz worked in concert to hit Hot Fire Flame on Nevaeh and move on to the semifinals. KDM nevertheless looked incredible and will surely seek a bit of payback some time in the future.

Our second tournament contest saw the brand new tag team of Shane Strickland and Jason Cade face Night Ryderz (Dustin Rayz & Alex Colon). There was a bit of concern amongst we at the commentation station regarding how well Strickland and Cade might work together, especially considering the fact that they fought against one another in their most recent Revolver appearance. These concerns were quickly abandoned, when Shane and Jason worked together as if they’d been teaming for years! The Ryderz put up a great fight, bringing their unique brand of violence every time they step into the squared circle. In the end, Strickland deftly landed a Swerve Stomp on Colon to secure the win and move onward to the next round.

We’ve all come to know the phrase, “Card subject to change.” There’s a reason. Unfortunately, JT Dunn’s flight was cancelled at the last minute causing him to miss the entire Wrestling Mixer. Therefore, Team WHAT was replaced by the rest of The Rascalz (Myron Reed & Trey Miguel). Where there is change there is also opportunity! Reed and Miguel would face Besties in the World (Davey Vega & Matt Fitchett). High speed and higher flying were what this one was all about. The junior members of The Rascalz looked amazing, but Besties brought better tactics. The Besties blasted Reed with a massive double-team Powerbomb. Vega and Fitchett moved on to face the winners of the next contest.

Our final opening round match featured a whole lot of bad blood. It was LAX (Santana & Ortiz) versus OVE (Dave Crist & Jake Crist). This was a violent brawl before the bell even rang out to begin the match. All four men beat the hell out of each other until they dragged their own bloodied and bruised bodies back into the ring so the match could start. This one wasn’t about technical ability or clever counters. It was a fight! Santana hit a pinning Suplex on Jake Crist, and P.D. Barton was more than happy to make a fast count and hand LAX the victory. Barton seemed pretty pleased with himself... until he ended up on the receiving end of a Killing Spree courtesy of OVE. Nevertheless, LAX advanced.

Rich Swann’s Open Invite Championship was up for grabs with a bit of a twist on the standard scramble match. This would be a gauntlet style scramble! Entrants included Ace Austin, Clayton Gainz, Pat Monix, Jaxon Stone, Rich Swann, Dan Maff, Larry D, Ace Romero, Kimber Lee, Mik Drake, Jeremiah, Shigehiro Irie, Samantha Heights, Austin Manix, Ron Mathis, and Aaron Williams. It was pure nutso to the buttso with action fast and furious enough to make one plotz. The last two competitors were #1 entrant Ace Austin and champion Rich Swann. The two went back and forth in an amazing display, especially considering the fact that Austin was the match’s first entrant. Ace Austin proved his merit with a Stupid Sexy Stomp to Swann’s dome to make the pin and take the win! Good luck hanging onto this one, Ace. That title is a target to every wrestler on this planet.

That brought us to the semifinals of the mixer. The Rascalz (Dezmond Xavier & Zachary Wentz) faced the surprisingly successful duo of Strickland and Cade. This was a fantastic match between four world-class athletes. Zach took the win with a beautiful UFO Cutter onto Jason Cade for the 1-2-3. Unfortunately, Strickland and Cade put their bad attitude on full display by viciously attacking Wentz after the match. Sour grapes! The Rascalz moved on to the final match! Unfortunately, Zach was injured while Dez was exhausted from a difficult night of competition. Only time would tell whether or not they’d be able to retain their championship gold.

With one team’s participation in the final ensured, it was time to find out who would face The Rascalz in the last match of the tournament. It was LAX (Santana & Ortiz) versus Besties in the World (Davey Vega & Matt Fitchett). This was another wild contest with all four competitors hungry to get their hands on gold. Santana and Ortiz wanted the titles for the first time, while Vega and Fitchett looked to become the only ever three-time Wrestling Revolver Tag Team Champions. LAX showed that the power of friendship doesn’t amount to much when up against the reckless thuggery of a couple of bastards. With this decisive win, LAX advanced to face The Rascalz in the final contest to determine the Wrestling Revolver Tag Team Champions.

A Dayton Street Fight between “The Draw” Sami Callihan and Matthew Palmer was the penultimate contest of the evening. This was as personal as it was barbaric. The two fought in and around the ring and even dragged on another outside to make it an appropriately named street fight! To finish of a truly nasty contest, Sami hit Palmer with a literal Piledriver onto a mount of chairs. The taste of victory was sweet for Callihan, as he finally achieved vengeance against Palmer a full year after Palmer’s initial cowardly attack.

The final contest of The F’n Catalina Wrestling Mixer arrived. The Rascalz faced LAX to determine which team would be Wrestling Revolver Tag Team Champions! After the attack following their semifinal match, it appeared as if Xavier would have to defend The Rascalz’s titles alone in a handicap match. Dez put in an heroic effort until it seemed the numbers game would simply be too much to overcome. Thankfully for fans in Ohio and around the world, Zach willed himself back into the fight. Once again The Rascalz employed Hot Fire Flame to bring them yet another win and keep the Wrestling Revolver Tag Team Championships around their perfect waists! Want to know the details? Watch us on Highspots, dingus!

What a night! It’s always phenomenal when Wrestling Revolver takes over Rockstar Pro Arena, and this time was no exception. Dezmond Xavier and Zachary Wentz have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are indeed the greatest tag team on the planet! We’ll see you again on October 20th in West Des Moines, Iowa for Tales From the Ring: Part 2! Until next time, I remain your Wrestling Revolver color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.

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