Voice of Professional Wrestling (Amped 10-31-18)

Of course. October 31st just had to fall on a Wednesday this year. That meant that all the creeps and ghouls and nightmen congregated at Rockstar Pro Arena for an abbreviated evening of petrifying pugilism. We knew it was going to be a weird one when the most infamous toy ever Chucky took over ring announcing duties! It only got stranger as the night progressed.

Our opening contest pitted “The Worldwide Event” Pav City versus his oft tag team partner Will the Thrill. You’d never know these two were friends the way they attacked each other. Just as the match reached a fevered pitch, familiar music filled the arena. It was Clayton Gainz, and he had no time for either Pav or Will. Gainz put the boots to both competitors before chucking their limp bodies out of his ring. Unsurprisingly, this match was ruled a No Contest.

After such a mighty display of dominance, Clay challenged any young up-and-comer in the locker room to take him on head-to-head in the ring right then and there. No young up-and-comers took him up on his offer. Instead, former Triple Crown NWA Champion “The Tokyo Monster” Kahagas hit the ring! It would be “Too Swole to Control” Clayton Gainz facing Kahagas in singles competition. Clay is certainly a beast, but Kahagas is a beast with nearly twenty years of in-ring experience! Just as Clay turned things to his advantage, the wily veteran quickly pinned him with a Small Package. There’s no shame in losing to this monster, Clay!

Tag team action followed between The Administration’s “Brothers of Construction” The Bambinos (Dom & Vinny Bambino) and Ron Mathis’ hand-selected teammates Trash Punks (Crash Jaxon & “Disasterpiece” Christian Kobain). Crash brought his power game, while Kobain’s offense looked as ugly (yet effective) as ever. Meanwhile, both Bambinos brought a new breed of viciousness to Rockstar Pro. It was an evenly contested match, but only one team could come out on top. When the Bambinos combined forces to hit Sleep with the Fishes on Kobain it was all over. Yet another glorious victory for The Administration!

Next up was a Halloween Costume Contest Match between “The Hawkeye” Steve Manders dressed as Draven (or was it Fake Draven?) and Pompano Joe. It seemed somebody forgot to wear his costume! Even though Pompano didn’t dress up, he still showed up ready to compete. On the other hand, Manders fully embraced his black-and-white persona. Manders pulled out all of Draven’s greatest hits: the Draver Splash, the bizarre Draven Deathlock, and even Angel’s Wings for the win! Manders celebrated. Pompano pouted. I was simultaneously amused and befuddled.

Our main event pitted Spider-Man (“Ace of Spades” Ace Austin) against Liu Kang (“Too Sick for This World” Zachary Wentz in a singles match. Ace began the match by squirting webbing onto Wentz’s face. Gross. Zach replied with Kang’s famous Bicycle Kick! The two young athletes had a truly phenomenal encounter. It’s absolutely clear why the entire wrestling world is losing its collective shit over these guys, and they both honed their skills at Rockstar Pro. Ace tried to employ some fancy footwork, but Zach had the perfect counter. Somehow Wentz hit Dragon Fire on Ace and set his stupid, sexy face ablaze! Mark it, dude! That’s another win for my best friend Zachary Wentz!

What a night! Ghosts were ghosted. Tricks were treated. All the younglings filled their bellies with fat and sugar. Remember that you can watch everything unfold live and in-person every Wednesday night at Rockstar Pro Wrestling’s Amped. Plus, you can watch our special Halloween edition of Amped on Rockstar Pro’s YouTube channel! Until next time, I remain your Rockstar Pro color commentator and the Voice of Professional Wrestling.

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